The argument is often made that Chinese people tend to be nicer – or at least more courteous – to foreigners than they are to each other. But is that really the case? The general consensus from both the media and casual observation seems to be … sometimes. Here's a rundown of some times in which it pays to be a foreigner – and some times in which you wish you could blend in just a little bit more.

Chinese nicer to foreigners?

1) Restaurants
Depending on where you live, Chinese people will often view foreigners as something different, almost exotic. Even in Shanghai, a culturally "diverse" city, Westerners are often seated first or put at the best tables. Despite the uneasiness of sometimes feeling you're being paraded around like a show pony, this can often work to foreigners' advantage. My Chinese friend once pushed her way to the front of a long line at a popular restaurant, said something in Chinese, and promptly got our table of eight (mostly foreigners) seated. After asking her what she could have possibly said to have gotten us seated immediately, she smiled slyly: "I just asked the hostess who she thought would spend more money here, a group of foreigners or all those Chinese people in front of us?"

2) Basic etiquette
When I first moved to China three years ago, I quickly had to get used to the fact that no one would hold open doors or keep the elevator waiting for more than, oh, 0.0003 seconds. I continued these practices basically out of habit, until one day I realised something – more and more people in my apartment building were holding open the door for me or, when seeing me sprinting towards the open elevator, would press the elevator open button. My other foreigner friends also started noticing the same thing in their own apartment buildings, but we've also observed that the Chinese residents don't really do it for each other. Why? My only guess is because when a door is held open for me, my obviously grateful smile and profuse round of  "Xiexie, xiexie!" makes them feel good – I base that on the fact that they always tend to smile and look extremely pleased with themselves. Whereas when a door is held open for a fellow Chinese person, there tends to be absolutely no acknowledgement of the kind deed just done. Only time will tell if this trend increases.

3) You decide: landlords
I know for a fact that my husband and I are renting our apartment for approximately 2,000 RMB less than the same-sized apartment in the same building that is being rented to a Chinese family. And we're not the only foreigners who seem to get a discounted rate from Chinese landlords. This one isn't so big of a mystery – many landlords tell you outright that they prefer having Western tenants. Apparently foreigners generally take better care of the apartment, appliances, etc. There also tends to be less wear and tear when a group of foreigners move in as opposed to an entire Chinese family who sometimes lives there in "shifts." But not all foreigners get the sweet end of the deal when renting from Chinese landlords – see below for the complete opposite experience.

Not so much…

1) Haggling
In case you've been living under a rock – or just haven't purchased a single thing while living in China – I'll let you in on a little secret: You are constantly getting ripped off here. Whether it's going to the fake market, the vegetable market, or even the hospital, most people are taking a bit off the top and charging you more than they would a Chinese person. Say what you will about it, but it's true. Now I'm not saying you can't or won't get a good deal – it's just that you won't get as good a deal as if you were Chinese. There is this pervading attitude that all foreigners are richer and can therefore afford to pay more, while the Chinese are in this whole thing together. This is one case where, even if you know the haggling basics, you just have to accept it.

2) Chinese clubs
I'm obviously not talking about the clubs that thrive on foreign clientele. I'm talking about those clubs that are 90% Chinese and stare daggers at the other 10%. Or the ones that won't let foreigners in at all. A few months ago there was a big backlash in Shanghai when two black men were barred from entering "after hours" club, The Room.

These are the types of places where, if there is the slightest disagreement between a Chinese club goer and a foreign one (especially if the expat is male), the foreigner will promptly be thrown out by security no matter who or how it started. While foreigners undoubtedly have a lot of leeway with which to explore this country, there are certainly places that remain off limits. Chinese clubs and Chinese women are the main two.

3) You decide: landlords
And now we come to the other half of the eternal landlord debate – the half where foreigners get screwed by the Chinese owners of their rental apartments. While scouting for apartments, some landlords will raise the rate as soon as they hear a Westerner is interested in it (I actually had that happen while I was standing in the apartment itself – the real estate agent called the owner to ask him a question we had about the rooms, and by the time he hung up he told us the landlord raised the rate by 500 RMB).

I've also had friends who have prepared to move out of an apartment, only to be told they wouldn't be getting their deposit back. When asked why, since everything in there was still in perfect condition, the landlords all basically answered "Because." When my friends began arguing, the general response was, "What are you going to do about it?" And they were right – besides trying to navigate the Chinese "legal system," a daunting task for any foreigner, never mind those who don't speak much Mandarin, there's really no option to get your money back if Chinese landlords don't want to give it.

In the end, the point is not really "Are Chinese people more or less polite to foreigners than they are to each other?" The fact is that sometimes you, as a foreigner, will get taken advantage of. And sometimes you, as a foreigner, will be pleasantly surprised by a random act of kindness or respect. These kinds of things happen all over the world, not just in China.
 

Related links
Top 6 Misconceptions about Foreigners in China
How to Be Critical of China Without Sounding Like a Jerk Foreigner
Help Thy Neighbour: Explaining Civic Apathy in China

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