China Online Dating Guide, Part 2: Best Sites

China Online Dating Guide, Part 2: Best Sites
Dec 12, 2009 By Fred Dintenfass , eChinacities.com

In Part 1 of our China Online Dating Guide we decided that internet dating is no longer just for losers who never see the sun (which is good because this category would include most of the folks living in northern China right now) and the issues and idiosyncrasies particular to internet dating in China. Before you start trying to decide which body type you are (muscular and chunk are almost the same thing) you should read up on all that.

If you read and write Chinese (and can speak and understand it enough to make real life interactions possible) there are plenty of Chinese language dating sites. According to a recent study published by Beijing Normal University and several partner institutions, 10% of married Chinese couples met online. A number which will probably continue to rise as people feel more comfortable with computers and computer dating.

Dating does not necessarily play the same social role in China as it does in the West. While Westerners are likely to look upon dating, especially in their younger years, more casually i.e. not necessarily leading to marriage – a situation partially created by the much stricter rules and standards regarding teen dating in China. The study sheds some light on this as well. According to a Xinhua report on the study, “Sex and living together outside of marriage are accepted. However, 76.6 percent of female college students in the survey say they were negatively affected by such deeds; and 62.4 percent regret having sex and living together with their boyfriends.”

According to the survey’s participants, the best time for men to tie the knot is 31 for men, 25 for women. Women after 30 have a much harder time finding husbands (though this may be changing), while men’s marriageability stays high into their 40s.

There are quiet a few websites out there that cater to those interested in relationships with Asians – usually Western men and Asian women – however many of these sites are not so much dating sites as mail order bride depots. For example, AsiaMatch isn’t a dating website, it’s a “cross-culture matrimonial service platform with innovative technology and a solid investment background” that’s basically a portal to collect Western men with Chinese marriage agencies serving Chinese clients (women paying of tens of thousands of RMB for the service). Agencies may communicate on behalf of the to-be-Chinese bride who may not even be certain what their broker is writing on their behalf as they may not really speak English themselves. If you’re unsure about the aim of the site you’re thinking about using it’s a good idea to check out their Terms of Service. AsianMatch’s is very clear: “Before you register to be a member of this Site, you are deemed to expressly know how this Site and the Service work and the ways we cooperate with the local dating and marriage service providers in Asia…If you register with this Site merely for making friends, not for marriage, you are supposed to state in your profiles your intention, reminding the ladies of this point in case that they misunderstand your intention.”

Even if you don’t think you’d get caught dead using a dating site back home, your situation in China might be different. Arriving in a new country or city, finding like-minded individuals you can communicate with, be they Chinese or other expats, can be tough. While there may have been a lot of fish in the sea back home, if you’re in Wuxi, or even the outskirts of a first tier city, it can seem more like an empty pond.

Here are some sites to get you started. Tune in next week for advice on how to create a winning profile (bonus hint: refrain from mentioning your love of silky smooth Asian skin or shiny American passports in the first paragraph of your intro). We’ll also look at something we haven’t touched on yet: Chinese dating sites for gays and lesbians.

FriendFinders
The FriendFinders network is comprised of many sites catered at various demographics. Unfortunately, their China offerings are a bit confusing. Asianfriendfinder.com is the Chinese language site; this is the corresponding English version, which is also targeted at Asians – no Western faces on the home page. Confusingly, there is also Asia FriendFinder which is the normal FriendFinder site but tailored to your location, probably of your IP address – if you’re trying to find dates in you area you might want to turn off the VPN). There is a ChineseFriendFinder but it is blocked in China.

CupidMedia
Another conglomerate with several relevant sites, AsianEuro is pretty much like it sounds, though you don’t have to actually be European to use it. The testimonials, which helpfully include pictures, reveal the site’s focus – uniting interracial couples with an age disparity in marriage. HongKongCupid is aimed at younger, more culturally mixed demographic and doesn’t mention marriage at all. ChineseLoveLinks has more in common with AsianEuro than HongKongCupid.

Here and abroad
Asian Romance and Asian Singles Connection are both more explicitly aimed at Asians overseas but also feature Chinese members. DateinAsia.com on the other hand focuses on those currently living in Asia and has a Chinese section.
 

Related Links
China Online Dating Guide, Part 1: Don't Believe the Hype
What's Your Opinion on International Marriages?
Charisma Man and Dating In China
Yellow Fever: Why Western Guys Date Chinese Girls

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