WiFi Anxiety with Chinese Characteristics

WiFi Anxiety with Chinese Characteristics
Nov 05, 2013 By eChinacities.com

Editor’s note: Satire may be a lost art in China, but the progress of modern China also dictates a change in the acerbic wit of those with the sass to share them. This Chinese-translated article by Lu Ke has the author taking a step back to direct our attention upon a fact we all know: that modern society is obsessed with their cell phones. Users sustain themselves through a life-line of WiFi in order to stay relevant and popular in their respective social circles and networks. However, Lu is able to make this observation using the least-exploited resource in China: irony.

There are always one or two special exceptions in every tour group. There are those who love arriving late, those who love to go for an early morning swim in the pool, and then those who love to interrupt the proceedings with a “Why not?” However, on this recent “discovery trip to northern Thailand”, I discovered that the entire tour consisted of “special exceptions” – people that suffered from WiFi anxiety with Chinese characteristics.

“Immediate gratification”

We switched flights at Bangkok and boarded a new plane headed for Chiang Rai, a process that took about half an hour. During this time, an anxious woman named Vivian was trying to use the airport’s free WiFi service; while she was able to register onto the system, she was not able to get onto the internet due to the lack of a proper signal.

While this is still a common problem faced by round-trip travelers from China to Thailand, this situation prompted dozens of people to line up at the information desk to receive the password for the WiFi. After an agonizing 15 minutes of not being able to go online, passengers immediately logged onto their WeChat and Weibo accounts to connect with their online social circles. This whiff of happiness was the result of an immediate gratification of an addiction that was repressed for over half a day, an offering that was ravenously devoured in a single-serving with no thought to any alternative.

Having learned the hard and tragic lesson from the sky-high cost of phone and internet bills, visitors travelling outside the country will now obediently turn off their 3G reception and roaming capabilities on their phones. But the rates for using a phone outside China include sending text messages for 1.26 RMB, taking calls for 2.86 RMB per minute, and making calls for 6.86 RMB per minute – it’s no wonder then that free WiFi services have become the most wanted commodity for the entire tour group.


Source: Keng Susumpow

“Do they have WiFi?”

It wasn’t possible to get WiFi access throughout the trip from beginning to end as none of our phones were bought locally. But it was during food stops or at scenic spots that the group’s collective desire to log on to the internet reared its head the most. The tour guide would try to solicit opinions from the group: “How does everyone feel about eating the local glutinous rice dish that is the local specialty for this area for lunch today?” However, one after another, the whole group would respond with “Do they have WiFi?”

The tour guide would later say to the group: “This afternoon we’re going to go the border of Thailand and Myanmar to sightsee a small bridge that connects the two countries together.” To that, everyone would again ask, “Do they have WiFi?” Afterwards, the tour guide started to become more self-assured and aware, and would tell the group instead of asking: “This afternoon, we are going to the largest wood hand carving craft market to have a look around; they have a free WiFi service provided in the area, and the password is ten ‘four’s’.”

Dinners, activities and shopping options didn’t matter; the most important factor was whether or not there was WiFi. With this requirement fulfilled, the travelers were able to take pictures of whatever they had to eat, were doing or had purchased, and then upload these pictures onto their social networks for their online friends to see. Then, they could seek pleasure from the feedback given by friends and acquaintances. Upon reading the comments, these travelers would bury their heads into their phones and write maxims that extolled such sentiments as “Life is not lacking in beauty, but is lacking in discovery. We need to better improve our ability to discover the beauty that is all around us in life…” It’s true that beauty is all around us, and it’s a pity that this same beauty is going unnoticed by these same travelers because their eyes are fixated on their own phones.

Of all the places we went to, Chiang Rai and Chiang Mai had really good restaurants and scenic areas. But what’s more, it’s these two places that not only had free WiFi, but also had stable signals – thus paving the way for a group mood that was also similarly stable. It happened once or twice that as the bus was pulling away from a stop and a faint yet stable WiFi signal was still unexpectedly being received that a whoop could be heard as someone tried to use up the last vestiges of this dying opportunity as they shouted into the bottom of their cell phones.

“Running a red light with Chinese characteristics”

This attitude of trying to capture every last opportunity afforded to them can be likened to a chaotic Shanghai intersection whereby motorcycles, electric bikes, bicycles and people all compete to scoot across the road before the light changes red. Foreign media has described the phenomenon of “running a red light with Chinese characteristics” as involving at least three people running amok. But in my humble opinion, this is a misunderstanding. The true experience of “running a red light with Chinese characteristics” does not distinguish between time, place or number of people; those who want to run the red light will do so, while those who don’t may still do so anyways. Each time I see these electric bike drivers wearing their facemasks, sunglasses, and protective forearm covers as they whizz past an intersection with a red light screaming at them from overhead, I always think that they are rushing towards a countdown for a rocket lift-off somewhere and can under no circumstances be late by even a second. But afterwards, after a little thought, I finally remember that Shanghai doesn’t in fact have any rocket launching pads, only mahjong boards.

The two examples are parallels of each other: risking one’s life by speeding through a red light at an intersection just to save one or two seconds otherwise spent watching two wild dogs copulating; snatching up a moment of time just to connect to WiFi in order to see that your friends’ updates haven’t changed, and then logging off again.

“Like an opium addict”

Charging through a red light just for the sake of charging through a red light; registering onto a WiFi service just for the sake of registering onto a WiFi service – these are both things in which the cause has become the result, and the means to complete it have become an end to itself. Not only does the idea of success become irrelevant, but so does the concept of enjoyment.

In conjunction with Laos and the borders of Myanmar, the northern portion of Thailand forms the famous Golden Triangle of South-East Asia. When the tour guide speaks about the dangers of opium as we are touring the opium museums, everyone’s face becomes very serious as though they are truly thinking about what it is like to live a wretched life in which one is unable to stop doing something that they can’t help but do. Swept along by the broken shards of our information society, we have grown extremely dependent upon WiFi. What is the difference between us and a person addicted to opium?

“The most fun we’ve had…”

We ate in a Yunnan restaurant the evening we toured the border of Thailand and Myanmar. Even before we took our seats, some people were already anxious to connect to the local WiFi. When they were not able to get online, they called over a waiter to ask for assistance. That’s when they discovered that this establishment does not have a WiFi service; the signal that they were previously able to locate is for restaurant patrons to order food. Immediately came cries of “Let’s switch to a restaurant that has WiFi,” when suddenly the crash and roar of a storm sounded from outside, forcing everyone to just angrily sit and await the oncoming meal with boredom.

Ever so slowly, people began to tell each other stories; little by little, the sound of laughter could be heard; with tiny, incremental strides, the dinner table slowly became a jovial, boisterous affair. As the rain and lightning slowly passed over us, so too would this evening banquet without WiFi come to a close. On the road back to the hotel somebody said, “The dinner we had tonight has been the most fun one we’ve had since we’ve come to Thailand,” a sentiment that was agreed by many among the crowd. At that time, I thought that everyone had come to the decision to stop using WiFi services thereafter and to simply concentrate on having a great meal, and by extension, having a great time.

The next day, it happened that the restaurant located on the bank of the Ping River provided free WiFi to its customers. And so, like drug-addled junkies, everyone buried their heads into their own phones; silently, they would write, “Three years ago, relatives of mine had eaten at this same exact spot. How are you? I miss you…” What do you miss? A moment from three years ago when everyone was sitting staring into their phones, having fun on their own?

Alas, such are the “special cases” of these people severely infected by WiFi anxiety with Chinese characteristics.

Source: Caishang

Warning:The use of any news and articles published on eChinacities.com without written permission from eChinacities.com constitutes copyright infringement, and legal action can be taken.

Keywords: WiFi anxiety internet addiction

5 Comments

All comments are subject to moderation by eChinacities.com staff. Because we wish to encourage healthy and productive dialogue we ask that all comments remain polite, free of profanity or name calling, and relevant to the original post and subsequent discussion. Comments will not be deleted because of the viewpoints they express, only if the mode of expression itself is inappropriate.

Corflamum

I have a rule... You're going to do a shot of baijiu for every time you take out your cell phone at the dinner table.

Nov 06, 2013 10:53 Report Abuse

Guest2411352

It drives me mad when people have their phone next to them during a meal, and check them every 5 min. I get that guys have to take it out their pockets but women don't need to take it out of their bags. If you do take it out, at least turn it over so that everyone isn't distracted by it flashing

Nov 06, 2013 09:23 Report Abuse

DaqingDevil

Sadly the subject of this story is true. My last trip on a bus which took 5 hours saw all the passengers with eyes only for their cell phones and tablets either playing games,chatting to friends or sleeping. Seeing the bus driver appeared to have a death wish for himself, the passengers and other road users maybe being totally immersed in something other than witnessing the driving or watching the passing scenery was a saner alternative!!

Nov 05, 2013 07:55 Report Abuse

Nessquick

same was my wife, while first trip to my home. in the car on way from Prague to hometown, she rather read the fakin' stupid love stories on her mobile, than watchin all around. I have to say, not all the time, but it is sooo annoying to me.

Nov 06, 2013 09:35 Report Abuse