There’s something curious, yet undeniable, about life as an expat, and that is the fact that the longer you stay away from home, wherever home may be, the harder it becomes to ever go back. What started off as a year long adventure, a break from the “real world” can quickly morph into a longer hiatus from life, and “just one more year” soon becomes five, and before you know it you’re one of those people, the old China hands, the ones sitting at the bar talking about how it was “when I first got here” and reminiscing about the good old days back when the residence permit wasn’t stuck in your passport, when there was no cheese unless you count rubing, and Starbucks had not yet arrived on Mainland soil. What’s more, you’re effectively stuck in China with no viable exit plan. While being a China lifer might be fine for some people (and you probably know who you are), if you plan on repatriating at some point it is best not to put your return off for too long.

Photo: Ray Montgomery

Careerwise, a year or two off while doing something like volunteering, working as a teacher, or even traveling the world can always be justified if you know the right way of presenting it. If you stay in China beyond two years, however, you need to start thinking about your resume and how you can pad it with activities that will show potential employers back home that you aren’t just here on an extended vacation. If you’re an English teacher this might be the time to think about getting out of teaching and trying something new. If you haven’t got the skills necessary to land a non-teaching job in China, then work on building them, starting with your Chinese language skills. Even teaching can be fine, but once you start approaching the three year mark, you should be thinking about what sort of certifications and qualifications you can get to make teaching a viable career option even after you return home. Unfortunately, a long gap on your resume can spell career death in many industries, especially highly competitive ones which are dependent on technology and new talent. While it is possible to spin a stay in China in a positive light, be aware that even this has its limits. Stay in China beyond three years and expect to face serious questions from prospective employers about what you were doing over here that was so worth your while. Stay longer than five and don’t be surprised if you’re pretty much starting all over again, with any pre-China experience being overshadowed by the sheer length of time you spent out of your industry.

However, even if you’re not worried about your career, there’s another good reason why you might want to think about whether or not you’ve stayed in China for too long, and that’s simply your ability to ever again accept life back home and fully fit in. Many long term expats slide into depression upon returning home and find themselves longing for the life they left behind. While a short stint in China can easily start to feel like a dream, and it can be easy to get back into the swing of things once you get over the reverse culture shock, it is not so easy to go home again once you’ve been here for many years. Not only will your home no longer be the place you left, people will have changed as well. Your friends will have moved on, and even if they are still physically living in the same places, rekindling old friendships may not be so easy. The landscape of home will have changed and you may return to changes that you find hard to accept. You might return to a new political party in power, a new highway where your favorite Mexican place used to be, and to a bunch of punks hanging out at your favorite bar. Once you’ve been away too long you might return only to find that, ironically, you’re actually more comfortable in the foreign country you just left. You’ll miss your favorite China haunts, long for the friends back in China who really “get” you, maybe even pine for the guy (or girl) who you thought was just a fling. This scenario becomes more and more likely the longer you stay in China, or anywhere for that matter. If you don’t want to get too attached then you need to consider how well you’d cope with re-entry and try and return before it becomes too difficult emotionally and psychologically.

So what if you’ve been in China past the point of no return, but still plan to go back “some day”? When should you just give in and cast your lot in with China, for at least the foreseeable future, and stop worrying about whether or not repatriation will ever be a possibility? If you find yourself approaching your 10th China anniversary and you’re still not ready to leave, well then you really might never be. Perhaps China is the place for you; you’re a “lifer”. The sooner you decide to make China your home the sooner you can start making plans to make sticking around a realistic possibility. You can buy an apartment in China, become fluent in the local language, and even start a family here once you’ve made that mental leap. Much like with relationships, no one can tell you at exactly what point you should either leave or commit to China, put the proverbial ring on her finger and settle down. However, China can be an enchanting place, and it is easy to get caught up in life here and forget that at some point the party will end and the adventure will become life. Too many expats in China are surprised when time creeps up on them and all of a sudden a year becomes five, five becomes ten, and suddenly going back is no longer as simple as booking a plane ticket. While it is fine to get swept away by China for awhile, keep the big picture in mind and don’t pass the point of no return unless you’re doing it on purpose
 

Related Links
Re-Pats: Expats Who Just Can't Keep Clear of China
Get Out of Dodge? 5 Reasons to Leave China
Leaving China and the Challenges of Returning "Home"

Warning：The use of any news and articles published on eChinacities.com without written permission from eChinacities.com constitutes copyright infringement, and legal action can be taken.

Keywords: does staying in china too long hurt career can you stay abroad too long when to leave in china how many years to stay in china How long in china is too long