In China today nothing much is free. The one exception is advice: giving it shows you care. Too much of it though, where pregnancy and healthcare are concerned, comes in the form of old wives tales, and once my Chinese wife became pregnant I was astounded at the extent of this nonsense. "You must look at pictures of beautiful babies," was one of the first. Another odd one was "Don't hit an animal or your baby will look like that animal." In a similar vein was the idea of not attending something like a funeral while expecting – to stay away from evil spirits I suppose.

Later, we got a whole range of advice and tips to help us judge the gender (because of the one child policy, hospitals are not supposed to tell people). Going by the shape of the bulge seemed a bit inexact to me: squarer, a boy, more rounded, a girl. Also problematic was the idea that if the mother was sleeping a lot it must be a boy – having a lot of morning sickness indicates a girl. Then there was food craving: sweet things, a boy; sour things, a girl. Too much of this also seemed to reflect the traditional belief that one gender was better than another.

We easily dismissed all that. Not so readily ignored, however, were the things that everyone knows like "intercourse is bad for a pregnant woman", and "radiation from TVs can be countered by wearing a special anti-radiation vest." 

Ignorance toward childbirth

More worrying for us was the anxiety of being first time parents. My wife, Chen Fang, despite being in her late 30s and having an extended family well stocked with kiddies, seemed to be woefully ignorant of the birthing process. Pirated DVDs came to my rescue: especially a copy of the BBC's "Human Body"series. An especially graphic scene of childbirth had her exclaiming that she'd never seen anything like it. Throughout the pregnancy I'd been expecting a call to attend pre-natal classes or something – it never came. The only other preparation came from several helpful looking books. Although I couldn't read the Chinese, the pictures looked practical, and my wife studied them very carefully.

Quality of medical care

Another typically Chinese worry was regarding the quality of medical care. Having already spent several years in China, I'd gone to the hospital in China on more than one occasion for minor things. A regular feature I took away from visiting doctors with my wife was not so much questioning their professional competence as questioning their honesty. Whatever medicines they recommended, my wife almost invariably refused some on the grounds that they were trying to sell her more than was really necessary.

What worried me more was how she decided which medicines to discard. This kind of disquiet is pretty widespread apparently, even leading to serious acts of violence between dissatisfied patients and their medical experts. In recent years these outbursts have numbered in the thousands in China. The story people like to remember comes from Guangzhou last November about a guy who paid $95 for a check-up, injections, doses of different drugs (including pills for liver disease) when all he had was a common cold. On the other hand, Chinese doctors (rightfully) complain that they are underpaid, undervalued and unfairly mistrusted.

Having a baby prompted us to visit a tall downtown building: the Baby Friendly Hospital. Inside were fourteen floors of regular maternity institution with the VIP Birthing Clinic on the fifteenth. Judging this to be some sort of guarantee of quality, we registered there. Certainly, it was cleaner, neater and less crowded than normal hospitals, but repeated visits did little to bolster our confidence in the institution. The low point came when the regular doctor we saw for scans (who spoke the best English in the place) told us how ashamed she was of her colleagues: "their knowledge comes only from reading books."Later, I found reference to a report by the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development, which noted that half of the doctors in China have no better than a high school degree.

This came to light when Chen Fang was nearing full term and had a small problem with her blood. No longer trusting the VIP BC,she insisted on having the same tests in the newer No. 1 Hospital some distance away. We compared results and advice. The former appeared to be about the same but the advice from the Baby Friendly(to stay in for more checks) seemed more like a money making scam. However, both places recommended a C-section. My wife rejected the idea because she thought it might somehow harm the baby. At that time I had a vague idea that caesarians were somewhat common here, but I had no idea of the extent: almost 50% of Chinese women succumb to this advice, as compared to about 30% in the US.

C-section vs. natural birth

There are a multitude of reasons for this. For hospitals, such operations can simply be more convenient – performed to schedule rather than waiting and freeing up overworked obstetricians. They can also make more money (up to twice the cost of a natural delivery). And caesarians are less likely to go wrong too, reflecting a defensive approach to liability issues.

Granted, sometimes the desire to not wait for a natural birth comes directly from the parents: "My mother-in-law is superstitious about dates and wants to pick the time of birth," or "I'd like to have a natural birth, but I'm afraid it will influence my sex life." Not to mention, as more people follow suit: "Everybody else is having surgery."

Whatever the reasons, there are definite health issues with this approach. Having a caesarian can lead to problems with a late birth, and new research has shown that the babies themselves can be negatively affected in some ways, for example, by having a greater propensity towards obesity.

The birth

Happily ignorant of most of these worries back then, Saturday, June 7 saw me working as usual, but the school got a morning phone call to tell me Chen Fang had gone into the No. 1 thinking the baby might be coming – but not quite yet – and that I should go that evening.

Once there, the big question for me was: where exactly was she? Chen and Fangare both very common Chinese names. I thought someone in school had mentioned Floor 4. Wrong. Maybe it was Floor 20? Wrong. What about Floor 2? Someone down there sent me back to Floor 4 where I got the same response as before. My options and patience were both running out. She must be here. Maybe the other desk knows?

I hadn't initially noticed that each floor had two desks, across the corridor from each other... Yes, she was here and she was fine. Nothing had happened yet. My bosses arrived with a ludicrous amount of fruit – and then took me home. I looked forward to a quiet few days.

Sunday morning Chen Fang phoned with a list of wants. About 15:30 she called again, this time sounding drugged and drowsy, "The baby is coming – you should come about 18:00."

At the hospital it was pointed out to me which door my wife was behind – and that I should not join her. So where should I wait then? How many films and TV shows had I seen where nervous fathers paced corridors outside delivery rooms? Here there was little space for pacing and nowhere to sit down. Maybe Chinese fathers just stayed at home?

At 21:00, someone told me that my baby daughter had duly arrived… an hour earlier. I paced for another hour before my wife and daughter were finally wheeled out. "It was worse than death," said the elder of the two.

Post-natal care and a hernia

In Chinese hospitals, nurses do none of the dirty humdrum work: a patient's family is expected to instead. If no family member is available, one of a group of elderly women (who seem to live permanently in the hospital) can substitute – an option we took.

When I visited each evening I was still amazed at how little advice on baby care there was. Strangely, the most helpful information came from a leaflet provided by Pampers.

A few days later both wife and daughter came home – to confusion and bad temper, summer heat and humidity. A month later and I had to go back to the same hospital to have a hernia corrected. Instead of family, I had the same old woman to help look after me. I can't remember which floor I was on.

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Keywords: giving birth in China prenatal care in China pregnant in China having a baby in China Chinese superstitions giving birth