Having family and friends come visit you in China is one of the best feelings in the world. After being away from home for months (sometimes years) at a time, having those you love and miss actually be in your physical presence can be restorative, exciting and the perfect morale boost for all those "bad China days" you have…

…It can also be unnerving, and frustrating and worrying. Here you've spent all this time and energy building a life for yourself, and the clash between your "old" life and "new" life can practically give you vertigo. So how do you enjoy your time spent with family visiting without going crazy? Here are some tips.

1) Stock up on the basics (and the not-so-basics)
Make a checklist of all the things you think you'll need when your family members or friends come to stay with you. Then think outside the box and make another list. Yes, you probably realized you'll need toilet paper while they're here, but what about a full set of forks and knives for those who can't use chopsticks (or who are simply more comfortable not using them)? Beds in China tend to be much harder than those in the West, so if your guests have any sort of back problems, especially elderly parents, think of picking up a thick mattress cover at your local bedding store, Carrefour, or Ikea. Remember that the air here tends to be much dirtier, so if you can spring for a decent air filter for your apartment, it might make things a little easier. In general, just take a step back, analyze your apartment from a tourist's view and think of those things that will give your visitors a personalized touch.

2) Allow for some downtime
It's easy to get into this-is-such-a-cool-city-must-show-them-everything mode when you have new people visiting. And of course it's understandable that you want to show your parents or various other relatives all that China has to offer. But remember how much fun "free time" was as a kid, when you could do whatever you liked, including taking a nap? The same principle applies here - you'll all feel much more relaxed if you purposefully set aside some down time when you're not taking China by storm. Whether it's relaxing at a café or simply sitting in a park, be sure you allow yourself – and your guests – time to simply talk and absorb the country.

3) Remember to empathize
Depending on how long you've lived in China, you may have forgotten how it feels to step off that plane into a strange land with a strange language and even stranger food. Think back to how you felt when you first touched down in China – nervous, excited, scared? Those are most likely the exact feelings your loved ones are experiencing, although granted it will be easier since they have you to play tour guide for them. But if you get the urge to roll your eyes when your mom wants to take a picture of another mobile fruit seller, or when your brother wildly overpays for a "genuine" piece of jade, just chuckle and remember that you, too, were once that naïve.

4) Know when to play tour guide
It can be a ton of fun to play tour guide to your family and friends. Not only does it help boost your confidence in terms of both your geographic knowledge of your town or city and your grasp on the Chinese language, but acting as a guide can show you just how far you've come since your first timid days here. But keep in mind that there is a time and a place for guiding, and that sometimes it's more beneficial for you to jump back into the "tourist" world. If you're showing them sights you've seen a million times, try to see it in a different way. And if you're exploring something new together for the first time, feel free to "ooh" and "ahh" with the rest of them.

5) Forget the tourist attractions
One thing I've learned from having multiple family members and friends visit me in China is that, while they're certainly here to see the sights and sounds of this far off land, the main reason they are here is to see you. By all means, take them to the temples and tea houses and fabric markets and all the other various tourist attractions that surround you. But be sure to also take them to your own personal favourite haunts. Have a pub you visit with your friends after work? A local dive restaurant where they know what you want before you even order? What about that street you make an effort to pass every day in order to get a snatch of (relative) peace and quiet? These are the sorts of places and things your loved ones want to see – your daily activities may seem hopelessly routine to you, but to them it's a way to feel closer to you while feeling a part of your everyday routine.

6) Savour the moments
People who come to visit you in China will most likely stay for a good bit of time. This could mean your routine is uprooted for two, three, even four weeks at a time. Once the initial excitement of seeing your family or friends settles down (as it will), you may find yourself feeling a bit suffocated, if not downright exhausted, by the 24/7 together time. If you find this happening, just take a deep breath and remember that once the visit ends, you'll be missing them as much as you were before. So try to step back (this may require a brief period of alone time wherever and whenever you can grab it) and realize that you'll be back to your old China routine before you know it – and savour the moments of togetherness while you have them.

Hopefully these tips will help you prepare for your family and friends' upcoming arrival. But most importantly, just remember to relax and have fun. After all, they're coming halfway around the world to see you and to see the exciting life you've made for yourself over here! 
 

Related links
China Travel Necessities: Seven Forget-Me-Nots for China
China Family Friendly Winter Vacations: Sanya
Is China a Good Tourist Destination?

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