To see our previous article on Chinese Etiquette: Lost in Face click here.

We have already provided you with insight on eating in a Chinese restaurant, because one of the most important rituals in any society is the practice of eating together. In China, this is no exception. While every society and culture has things that you can and can’t do, it seems like in China, years and years of society has created rules and practices that foreigners would not suspect. As this is an important meeting and social occasion while traveling, it’s important to learn more about what is or isn’t considered polite so that you don't make a fool out of yourself or offend someone. Chinese table etiquette is full of subtleties and unintentional errors we could commit that could shock Chinese people, while on the other hand, some Westerners are horrified by what is considered OK at the Chinese table.

Photo: mastermaq

I should note that with younger people these general rules may not apply, but if you meet some older people and wish to be respectful you may want to adhere to these general tips. First and foremost, whoever invites is usually who pays. While sometimes in America, for example, people make a huge spectacle of “fighting” over who will pay the bill, even if he or she has no earthly intention of paying but makes a spectacle anyways. However, it is considered rude if you don’t offer at all. In addition, in restaurants it’s usually considered a bit strange for ten people to all pay separately.

Photo: Andy Armstrong

This should be a no-brainer, but when going out to eat in China, learn how to use chopsticks! Also, the number one rudest thing you can do with your chopsticks without even realizing it is stick them into the bowl of rice. Why? Because it symbolizes death. Yep, how’s that for unintentialy offending a very nice group of people you just met? I am always curious, however, at how much leeway you get as a stupid foreigner who may not know what the rules are. Additionally, do not tap your chopsticks on your bowl or cross chopsticks with people and don't wave them around while you talk and use them to point.

One of the things that are harder to get used to is not putting your bones in your bowl after getting the meat off. Chinese dishes are filled with little morsels that you have to gnaw on and you may be a bit shocked to see your friends spitting out the bones onto the table. This is perfectly acceptable, as is sucking on a shrimp shell and cracking it between your teeth before letting it fall out of your mouth in a flapping movement. Do not, however, pick your teeth without covering your mouth. This is considered extremely rude and disgusting and you will notice that even in the shabbiest or the nicest places that this is something that no one does.

Let the host tell you where to sit and allow them to serve you first. Many times, if you still have food in your bowl they will keep filling it up for you. The host will usually order the food at the beginning; sometimes they will ask you what you like. It’s polite to sample everything. It you don't like something then find something else that you like and maybe comment on how much you like it. If you are the host of the meal, make sure that you order more than enough for everyone at the table or you will look like a stingy idiot. Try to order a variety and remember that seafood is considered to be one of the higher quality and therefore more expensive dishes.

If you are going with a group of younger people, many times they will keep filling your drink over and over. Be sure to reciprocate the gesture by not just filling up your own beer but filling everyone else’s first before your own. The entire meal, people will keep filling up your glass. If you don’t want to get drunk very quickly, don’t drink all that's in your glass or it will be filled up immediately.

Photo: JohnSeb

As a general rule, it’s always better to watch everyone else and see what they are doing, that way you don’t mistakenly eat the bamboo wrapper of a rice ball thinking it’s edible, or get leaves all over your face trying to drink the tea. This rule applies everywhere in the world, but especially in China. Stay tuned for the next article pertaining to Chinese etiquette, which is as baffling as the Great Wall’s construction to us, when it seems there are so many innocent ways to go about humiliating yourself or being offensive without trying. Maybe it’s better we don’t understand the concept of “face” so well or we would notice how often we lose it!

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