In recent years, thanks to the likes of Angelina Jolie and Madonna, international adoption – once an obscure and not well understood path to parenthood which lagged far behind its big brothers domestic adoption and foster care – has entered our mainstream vocabulary, and it is more and more common to see families of all colors and sizes walking the streets back home. Ethiopia, Guatemala, India, Russia and yes, of course, China are all popular choices for families seeking to adopt internationally.

China has led the world in the number of babies, particularly girls, adopted internationally over the past 10 years. As an expat, I have often seen couples with their newly adopted baby girls, a nervous bundle of formula, diapers, burp cloths and toys, pushing strollers, looking wide eyed and a bit bewildered as they navigated the streets of Beijing, rushed to catch flights back home, or showed up at the local coffee shop desperate for a much needed latte. In China and America, these babies are considered the lucky ones. And while in adoption circles most of those in the know will caution prospective adoptive parents as seeing adoption as a way of “saving” a child, there is no doubt that these kids will grow up with something they lacked before: a home, a family. Right?

Photo: endbradley

When I opened up my favorite site today, a news article popped out at me, one of many I’d seen in recent months regarding kidnappings in China. The story was a familiar one. A family was desperate to find their 2 year old baby girl, who had disappeared one day while playing in front of the family home with some other children. I’d read another story some years previously, about a migrant worker’s child who had disappeared one day on the street. The father was distraught, and said that as a poor person he was taken less seriously than a rich person who had lost a dog would’ve been. In China, kidnappings are still relatively rare, but not unheard of, and they certainly don’t make the news in the same way that they do in the west, with headlines and round the clock coverage. In many cases, kidnapped children are sold on the black market to families unable to have children, or they are sold to organized beggar rings, or made to be thieves. Girls might end up as prostitutes. While human trafficking is illegal and there are harsh penalties for it in China, it is hard to combat effectively when there are willing participants at many levels of society. And with the surge in popularity of international adoptions, there is a new market for babies.

Reports of orphanages buying healthy babies have been around for awhile. Of course, this practice is illegal and not encouraged at all in China, but still the reports persist. In fact, other countries have very questionable records when it comes to international adoptions. It is estimated that as many as 50% of all internationally adopted children from Guatemala, for instance, were kidnapped from their parents. It is clear that international adoption raises some very significant ethical and moral issues that need to be watched carefully. It is worth noting, that China’s adoption program has always been praised for its high standards, especially compared to many other countries. However, adoption within China is not so easy. For many infertile Chinese couples waiting to have a baby, the process can be long and daunting. It wouldn’t be unfair to say that for a Chinese couple wanting to adopt a Chinese baby, the process is perhaps even more difficult, and the standards more rigorous, than for foreign parents who wish to adopt a Chinese baby. After all, foreign adoptions are an important source of income for cash-strapped Chinese orphanages, and foreign parents are often willing to accept the babies that would have very little chance of finding a home within China – babies with Down’s Syndrome, cleft palates, or other physical and mental disabilities.

It is unfair to blame this solely on unfair practices either by governments or agencies. The fact of the matter is that until recently most Chinese people didn’t want those unwanted Chinese babies. Chinese society, like many Asian societies, carries some deep social stigmas against adopting outside of one’s own blood. While adoptions happened throughout the centuries, even among imperial families, they were often done in secret and the babies were raised with no knowledge of their true parentage. If you ask Chinese people today about adoption it would not be surprising to hear some people express doubt or apprehension about the topic, and many might recount urban legends about adopted children growing up and stealing the family fortune, or killing their adoptive parents, the main concern being that you don’t know where “this person” has come from, so you cannot fully trust them. However, in recent years, and perhaps even, ironically, encouraged by high profile celebrity adoptions and by the sheer number of foreigners who come to China to adopt, there has been slow change in Chinese attitudes towards adoptions. It seems that Chinese people do want these babies, but now, after all these years, they are finding it hard to get their hands on them. I read a story about one family in Kunming who had been on a quest to adopt a girl for years, but had been continually waitlisted, asked to pay large sums of money (unrelated to the actual adoption fees) and eventually turned down. Similarly, in Shanghai there is a long waiting list to adopt baby girls from orphanages, and families in desperation often turn to underground adoptions, private adoptions, or the black market.

So where do these babies “belong,” and where are they better off? Clearly, when criminals kidnap children on the street because kids are such a hot commodity, either with orphanages or with infertile couples, or with criminals, it should perhaps be a sign that there should be a shifting focus, from international adoptions to domestic. Perhaps domestic adoption programs should be encouraged and even subsidized, so that Chinese couples wishing to adopt would not find so many obstacles, including international adoption, in their way. While it is true that a child living in an orphanage is better off in a home in America, it cannot be said that a child is better off in a home in America than a home in China. Perhaps it is a western conceit to think that we are saving these children from some awful fate, when in fact our enthusiasm for Chinese baby girls may be denying them the opportunity to live happy lives in their home countries with loving families who will speak their language, preserve their culture, and offer continuity that cannot be provided by international moves. This should not be taken as a criticism of international adoption or of the parents who adopt internationally, but as food for thought. Adoption, no matter who does it or where it is done, is a wonderful thing and I’m glad there are ways for people to adopt internationally, but it seems that China, perhaps, is ready for a strong domestic adoption program to operate alongside the international one. The important thing is not where these children find a home, but that they find a home. If Chinese society is willing to step up to the task of caring for its most vulnerable citizens, then that is a responsibility that should be given gladly.

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