Mar 07, 2017 By Paul Melancon , eChinacities.com


Source: paochefang.com

Foreigners from all corners of the globe come to China for various reasons; for some it’s work, for others it’s adventure, for a few it’s love. But no matter what the reason for your coming may be, there’s one thing we can all agree on: there are certainly some strange laowai who roam the streets of the Middle Kingdom. So let’s stereotype for a minute and drop all elements of political correctness, here are some funny examples of the weirdest foreigners in China.

1. The Know-it-all

This is the dude or dudette who thinks they know absolutely everything about China. Every stroke of the characters ‘biangbiang mian, the name of every emperor ever and the date he/she ruled, the winner of The Voice of China last night, Mao’s personal hygiene habits…you name it! They’re a so called expert on absolutely everything China and they have no problem letting you know that you’re not!

My friend tells of the story of him in a bar, waiting for a few others to join him. Like a true expat, he ordered a drink in the best Chinese he could. He asked for a pijiu, or beer. As luck would have it, he was sitting next to a know-it-all. The know-it-all couldn’t resist to let a complete stranger know that his tones were way off. It’s pijiu, second-tone, third-tone, you imbecil!

2. The Backpacker

These 20-something Millennials usually teach English to finance their next trip through SE Asia or India. Their wardrobe is 100% purchased from Khaosan Road, and their next Spring Festival vacation is going back to the Full Moon Party for the third time. They can easily be found at the expat dive bars – saving money by purchasing cheap and/or fake booze – rubbing shoulders with foreign students studying abroad doing the exact same thing.

The backpackers usually don’t annoy as much as the know-it-all’s, until they start talking abut the one thing that makes them unique – their travels. Sometimes it gets to be a bit much, as if they’re trying to prove that they’re so much more worldly than you. If this happens, simply ask, “Then what are you doing talking with another expat instead of getting to know real China?” This usually brings them back to Earth.

3. Da Man

This one is a fascinating specimen. They claim to have started a profitable start-up back in their home country, and are only teaching English in a 4th-tier city to kindergartners for an “adventure.” However, when you question them about their past glamorous life, they usually mix up the facts and details.

I knew a guy named Joe from the heartland of America who fit this description exactly. He claimed he was a tech entrepreneur, and sold his start-up for millions. After being bored with life, he took off to China to “do something different.” Perhaps this is true. But I’m skeptical. Joe, who frequented my friend’s restaurant and bar quite often, had a habit of never paying his tab. Actually, it got to the point that he was kindly asked to pay, or stop coming. He eventually stopped coming. If Joe’s story is true, he’s the cheapest millionaire I’ve ever met!

4. The Yellow Fever Patient

This can be a man or woman. For men, they’re usually ones with terminal yellow fever – they won’t leave China until they meet their dream gal from the Orient. They’ve actually gotten to the point that they don’t even look at another foreign girl, as if they don’t even exist. It’s hard for them to settle down, but eventually they get married and end up living in China forever.

For the woman, they usually have a steady local boyfriend. They’re quite happy with their relationship, and everything is all good. However, they do have one flaw. They’re always making the point that certain Asian stereotypes aren’t true, and love showing off the fact that they’re a rare expat woman in a serious relationship with a local.

Man or woman, we all have a friend in our circle who has stage 3 yellow fever.

5. The China Nerd

Unlike the Know-it-all, these people actually do indeed know it all! However, their studies get the best of them – they’re usually too good to hang out with other expats, preferring to do everything in Chinese. There’s nothing wrong with this, besides the fact that they make us feel stupid, and in many ways we envy their diligence.

I have a friend studying at the Hopkins-Nanjing Center, and yes, he’s a giant nerd-o and a true expert in China. Last time we had dinner to catch up, my day felt so much more unproductive compared with his. “Yeah, just finishing up my 100-page thesis in Chinese, still got some proofreading to do, but it’s almost there.” Wow!

However, the thing amazing about this scenario is not his impressive thesis. It’s the fact that he was having dinner with me, another white foreigner, and not a Chinese person.

6. DJs

They come to China, play music off their Mac, and somehow make a career out of it. I don’t really know how this classifies as talent, but I guess people will pay for this. Anyways… They’re usually the life of the party, have a great social life, and can always get you discounts into clubs. DJs are good people to befriend.

While they’re cool now, the only problem is years later they wake up and they’re doing the same exact thing! Unless your last name is Tiesto, DJing past the age of 30 just puts you on the list of the Weirdest Laowai in China. Sorry, that’s just reality.

Do you know of any other weird laowai stereotypes? Feel free to self-shame and let us know in the comment section below.

Follow Us On: Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Linkedin

SinoBytes

Warning:The use of any news and articles published on eChinacities.com without written permission from eChinacities.com constitutes copyright infringement, and legal action can be taken.

Keywords: Foreigner China Laowai stereotype

  • Lunch Break Etiquette in the Chinese Workplace

    Lunch Break Etiquette in the Chinese Workplace

    If you’ve just landed your first job in China, congratulations! You’ve now got a whole lot to learn. One of the first aspects of Chinese workplace culture you’ll come across is that of lunch break etiquette. It generally differs widely from the West, so take note and use your China lunch time ...

  • How To: Find a Legit Massage in China

    How To: Find a Legit Massage in China

    Have you ever considered having a full body massage, but worried that your massage would turn into an unwanted sexy fiasco? Here we give you advice on how to recognize the differences between parlours offering sexual services and those that give legitimate professional massages in China.

  • Don’t Miss the Chance to Find Your MBA Soul Mate in Beijing or Shanghai

    Don’t Miss the Chance to Find Your MBA Soul Mate in Beijing or Shanghai

    Top international business schools will be introduced to executive talent through one-to-one meetings in Beijing on Oct. 30 and Shanghai on Nov. 1 this year.

  • How To KTV: The Complete Guide to Karaoke in China

    How To KTV: The Complete Guide to Karaoke in China

    KTV is a huge part of life in China. But unlike in the West, karaoke is a complicated affair. Our guide to KTV in China will teach you everything you need to know about the Middle Kingdom’s favorite pastime.

  • 8 China Road Hogs and How to Avoid Them

    8 China Road Hogs and How to Avoid Them

    Traffic rules and rhythms in China are vastly different from those in Western countries. China’s freeways are inhabited by a myriad of more or less malevolent road hogs. Here we introduce you to some of the most common.

  • Keep it Legal: China’s 10 Strangest Rules and Laws

    Keep it Legal: China’s 10 Strangest Rules and Laws

    Most law-abiding citizens know the difference between right and wrong, and many rules and regulations are common sense. But sometimes you come across laws that are entirely the opposite, such as the ban on whaling in (landlocked) Oklahoma, and the prohibition on ploughing Alabama’s cotton fields ...

9 Comments Add your comment

1

Englteachted
comment|73750|263127

How is it I've never met these types of people. I've met all sorts and especially bozos but ... And there are some world famous DJs who do that. There's a market, they do their job well and take care of themselves without cheating people. They enjoy what they do , why is it weird? Why are backpackers weird? Seems to me that you are the weird one

Mar 07, 2017 12:44 Report Abuse

2

Karajorma
comment|73755|86810

I know exactly the kind of backpacker the article is on about cause I've met them a few times. Most backpackers are fine but there are some who seem to believe that spending their gap year in the Far East makes them better than people who haven't had the same experience. It's like spending a week living in a yurt makes them so much more knowledgable about the "Real China" than the rest of us expats.

Mar 07, 2017 18:28 Report Abuse

3

Anton91
comment|73751|1664431

EnglIsh teachers with terrible accent. There are plenty of them

Mar 07, 2017 14:57 Report Abuse

4

florent90
comment|73754|308737

true

Mar 07, 2017 17:48 Report Abuse

5

Guest530690
comment|73757|58965

sounds like you're the first type

Mar 08, 2017 03:57 Report Abuse

6

sofmiaous
comment|73794|1665217

what about the guy that come to china because he wants to learn chinese but hates chinese people ?

Mar 09, 2017 20:44 Report Abuse

7

tanbank34
comment|73824|1638305

lol,,,at some points is true

Mar 18, 2017 10:26 Report Abuse

8

yuri1992
comment|73911|1661656

i know a laowai who only dated chinese girls and always hangout with Chinese or speak chinese, i guess it's good, but then at certain point he refused to speak english...

Apr 11, 2017 01:49 Report Abuse

9

Guest15081984
comment|74082|1675776

Only thing I would say is I have a normal amount of Yellow Fever but that's it. I'm not any of the others, haha.

Jun 02, 2017 18:40 Report Abuse