Jun 19, 2017 By Jessica A. Larson-Wang , eChinacities.com

You came all the way to China but most of your friends are English speaking expats. The Chinese friends you have managed to make are either your students or people who wish they were your students. You eat at the same place every day, usually a Western cafe, and when you go out at night you usually end up drinking Gin and Tonics with a bunch of Italians, Slovenians and Australians. You might not live in an expat compound, but your neighbourhood is full of foreigners just the same. If you find yourself wondering how it is that you live in China but are still not at all in touch with the local culture, here are six tips that might help you “integrate” into Chinese society.

Don’t Be an Outsider in China: Six Tips to Help You Fit In
Source: flickr.com

1) Learn the local lingo

Learning to speak the language doesn’t just stop at Mandarin. Part of what makes the Chinese language unique is the fact that there are hundreds, even thousands, of local dialects spoken all over China. While Mandarin is of course the lingua franca throughout China, learning a bit of the local dialect spoken where you are can help you make great inroads into the local culture. Learn how to haggle with vendors in Changsha-hua or tell a cabbie your address in Kunminghua and you’re bound to make instant friends. What’s more, Chinese culture is extremely regionalist, and people closely identify with their hometowns and home language. Speaking a bit of the local dialect sends the message that you’re an insider, not just a guest passing through, and that you care enough about your adopted home to want to fit in with the locals.

Don’t Be an Outsider in China: Six Tips to Help You Fit In
Photo: lh6.ggpht.com

2) Eat like a local

Skip the cafes and big restaurants and try eating at some local dives, the hole-in-the-wall places where you can still get a good meal for under 20 RMB. If you make a certain place your regular haunt, you’re bound to become friendly with the “laoban” (boss) and you’ll probably start to recognize other regulars as well. Not only do the small back-alley places have some of the best food in town, the throngs of tourists tend to avoid them because of hygiene concerns. However, if a place has a regular crowd of people eating there, you generally do not have to worry about cleanliness. Claiming a small hole in the wall eatery as “yours,” a place where you can greet the boss by name and the staff knows just what you’re going to order, can help you feel like you’re really a part of a community.

Don’t Be an Outsider in China: Six Tips to Help You Fit In
Photo: travelpod.com

3) Travel like a local

Next time you’re planning a vacation, skip the plane tickets and travel by train. Trains are still the preferred method of travel in China, and the ever frugal Chinese often opt for the cheapest seats possible. Everyone should, at least once, try taking a long distance journey on a hard seat in China. It may be uncomfortable, but it’ll be the trip of a lifetime, and you’re sure to emerge with stories to tell. While soft sleeper is nice and comfortable, on a hard seat, sharing a table with a group of complete strangers, you will have a truly Chinese travel experience. Another travel experience not to be missed is the sleeper bus. While the sleeper bus is not really the place for making friends, no cultural immersion could be complete without a sleeper bus journey. Once you’ve braved the long distance hard seat and the sleeper bus you’ll have the confidence to handle just about any sort of travel China might throw at you and you’ll start to feel like you’re really getting the hang of this “China thing.”

4) Adopt a local family

Of course dating and marrying a Chinese person is probably the quickest and most effective way to throw yourself into Chinese culture, but even if you don’t have a family of your own, you will likely find friends or family willing to adopt you. Take your Chinese friends up on their invitations to their home village for Chinese New Year or Grave Sweeping day, and if you can’t find a family willing to adopt you, consider a homestay if you’re a student. Family is very important in Chinese culture and you will find that most Chinese families are eager to make you a part of theirs, even if they are a bit shy about approaching you at first. Let it be known that you’d really like to have a “Chinese family” and you’ll have so many offers that you’ll have to turn people down.

5) Live where the locals do

When you’re looking for your next apartment, avoid the expat compounds and the areas where the foreign students congregate, and try and find an apartment in an older complex or in a part of town where there are few foreigners. While it can be nice to have a lot of English speaking neighbours, in such places it can be easy to forget you’re in China and if your goal is to immerse yourself in Chinese culture, you’re not doing yourself any favours by surrounding yourself with foreigners. Plus, if you live in a modest apartment in a modest neighbourhood, you’ll find that the residents will embrace you after awhile, and you’ll make sincere Chinese friends who are interested in you because you’re their neighbour, not because you’re the ticket to free English lessons. The owner’s corner shop where you buy your daily pack of smokes or bottle of orange juice will come to know you, the guard at the gate will say hi when you enter, and your next door neighbour might even ask you over for dinner.

Don’t Be an Outsider in China: Six Tips to Help You Fit In
Photo: daylife.com

6) Embrace the local scene

There’s a lot more to Chinese music than Jay Chou and Faye Wang. Most Westerners find typical Chinese pop music to be fairly unlistenable, but few know that the local music scene has everything you can find back home – rock to punk to metal to folk, Chinese music has it all these days. Scope out some local acts and you’re likely to meet not just fellow fans, but to learn more about contemporary Chinese culture. If you can play an instrument reasonably well, consider forming a band, or joining a Chinese band. Being part of the local scene will open whole new doors to you that you never even realized were closed. This doesn’t just apply to music either. If you’re an artist, connect with local Chinese artists, a filmmaker, with local filmmakers. Arts and music transcends language and cultural barriers, and the scene in modern China is (arguably) one of the most vibrant and interesting scenes in the world. If you can find a way to be a part of it, your time in China may go from ho-hum to something truly special. 

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Keywords: Tips to fit in China how not be outsider China tips for fitting in China how to integrate in China

34 Comments Add your comment

1

Bryan
comment|11302|0

I agree with mostly everything said in this article, and have set out to do most of these things from the beginning incidentally. I haven't done the hard seat train trip, but I did the sleeper bus; in no way was that gratifying! You won't miss anything by skipping these crowded uncomcortable experiences. China is already crowded and many times uncomfortable enough in every day life!

Feb 02, 2011 02:55 Report Abuse

2

Guest388182
comment|65866|43131

on the slow train do the sleeper; high speed just make sure you get a seat

Oct 27, 2015 06:19 Report Abuse

3

grahame
comment|11334|0

Great advice, all the above, but one extra point I believe could have been included, is to Talk to People if they approach you and wish to strike up a conversation.
In all my time there, I barely learnt any of the language, so had to rely on English, but as noted in the article, there are always locals keen to try out their Knowledge of English (my apologies to all the folks from other than English-speaking countries).
I tend to agree with Bryan, that the two travel methods suggested are not necessarily the best, but to hop on a local bus, if in a provincial city, as I was, is a great way to meet locals, many of whom I still keep in touch with now that I am back home.
Also, my experience has been that to go by slow train is better for meeting folks than the newer high-speed trains; not sure why this occurs.
The "adopt a family" point is quite important, in my experience as I had several families who many times invited me to their homes, although there was one special family with whom I spent the bulk of my time, and who have become very special to me.
I guess that the all-encompassing point, which recurs throughout the article, is "to get involved" with the locals as much as you can, as they will accept you with open arms.

Feb 02, 2011 22:54 Report Abuse

4

samuel adjei okpoti
comment|11335|0

i agree with almost what ever made mentioned in the article, but my main problem is how people smokes in public without any second thought, if i say any second thought i mean not all the people in the environment like the smoking but one smoke without prevention gets the third person involve although he is not the rigthfull person smoking.what is the authorities doing about it. because is about health here , till my reply bye then

Feb 02, 2011 23:12 Report Abuse

5

Alanp
comment|11454|0

I would say go slightly further than Grahame, always greet people who look at you, an inquisitive gaze will always turn into a beaming smile. A simple Ni Hao! is sufficient.
How many foreigners are unable to say good morning in Chinese! :-(

Feb 07, 2011 08:34 Report Abuse

6

Cliff
comment|11474|0

Hi to you all,
Having just arrived here (in the middle of Lunar New Year) after three years in South Korea, and having experience of Shanghai, I was not too impressed with the thought of Dalian for a further two years.
Pleasant surprise though. I can't speak more than 5 words of Chinese, but what a positive response from the locals when you simply say good morning and thank you in their language. Pretty much the same response from the Koreans as well.
Haven't found an unhelpful local yet, even if we can't understand each other. Had the complete clientèle of a back street restaurant ordering my evening meal for me last night, and I wasn't allowed to pay for it either, no matter how many times I tried to put the cash on the table.
I consider integration an essential ingredient in making the most of working in an Asian country, and communication is the most essential of all.
Of course you don't need to travel on sleeper trains or buses to gain gratification. But what the hell, what better way to get to know the ways of your host country and the people. Sore ass? No sleep? How many times were you offered the chance to integrate with your fellow travellers.
And the first person who says that an understanding of the country is not important, is going to miss so much of life.
Alanp, you and I both have the same ways of integration, I have no doubt that you will have a hell of a self satisfying and great time here. Best of luck to you.

Feb 07, 2011 22:35 Report Abuse

7

Paul
comment|11483|0

Reading what the author said in the intro I felt I have clearly lived in a different China. In 2 years teaching in China, one in a city in the north, one in the south, I can safely say I never ate in a western restaurant (tho I did use Maccas loos a couple of times), and I never socialised with foreigners. It's true I did socialise with some students but also with staff and Chinese friends from the nearby city.

I lived according to the 'six principles'....haha, that phrase even sounds Chinese, except that in language I never got past 'Yi pin bingde pijiu. dakai. Xiexie.' (A bottle of cold beer. Open it.

So yes, I strongly support your comments for those who struggle to leave their homeland ways at home.

Feb 08, 2011 07:04 Report Abuse

8

hjt84
comment|11497|0

I don't agree with 'live where the locals do' in a modest place if you're meaning a sub standard apartment.

I love living in China, i have lots of Chinese friends, my mandarin is coming along nicely, my job is great, i eat at local places 95% of the time.....but when it comes to going home? I'll take my nice comfy western style compound thank you!!

I work in a suburb where there are hardly any foreigners, but why would i want to live there?

I don't live in the horrors of Gubei or anything (where i stayed with a friend for a week...it was like being on Desperate Housewives, could've been any gated community anywhere in the world) but i certainly don't live where the locals do.

My compound is mainly foreigners and i think the prices are way beyond the average local wage. But this is my home. I can spend 6RMB on dinner no problem, i can shop on taobao, i can go to the wet market instead of city shop (all of which i do!) but i'm not going to compromise on my apartment.

I want to live in a nice place surrounded by the comforts of home - no not fancy things, but central heating? An oven? Er...yes please!!!

Feb 08, 2011 19:32 Report Abuse

9

Guest388182
comment|65869|43131

a modest apartment is not necessarily a sheethole

Oct 27, 2015 06:25 Report Abuse

10

Living like a rich Chinese
comment|11523|0

I agree, you need to be comfortable wherever you live. And this comfort include psychological comfort.
You need to live somewhere you fit. Your job is only your job, your dwelling needs to feel like your home.

I live with locals, but what does that mean.

In Shanghai this is a gated community with a lake in Lujiazui district. All apartments., only a small few are below 120sqm. There are only 3 expats here. Very middle class. I feel at home here.

In Kunming this is gated community, next to Dian Chi (Kunming Lake). This is nearly all houses and villas. Only 180 residences. No expats except me. Most of the neighbours drive big SUVs (Porche Cayene is a favourite), BMW, Mercs, etc. I feel at home here.

In the family hometown, this is a small apartment. With a communal toilets on the other side of the courtyard/carpark. Hometown is a mining town, it is dirty, smelly, and very noisy. I avoid the place as I never feel even comfortable here.

And all three places are living amongst Chinese. Some people take a pride in 'going native'. If that is what floats your boat then fine, but please don't get all superior about it.

Feb 09, 2011 21:19 Report Abuse

11

gg@gg.com
comment|11821|0

Very nice post, good luck! ;-)

Feb 16, 2011 20:17 Report Abuse

12

sunilsah
comment|11955|0

i have done all of them ...
still no effect ..

Feb 21, 2011 00:43 Report Abuse

13

Alanp
comment|11969|0

Perhaps your heart isn't in it. Chinese people can often read you like a book, if you are not sincere, they know this, and will treat you accordingly!

Feb 21, 2011 15:53 Report Abuse

14

Andy
comment|12154|0

Yes, because chinese people are magic! -_-U

Feb 26, 2011 00:32 Report Abuse

15

MaurellaPD
comment|30866|0

some 大叔just shout to order his coffee without noticing there's a line of people queing for their cafe . . . . THATS VERY MAGIC TO ME!

Aug 30, 2012 19:05 Report Abuse

16

Gabey
comment|30744|0

One more thing:

I cannot stress this enough... GET A QQ ACCOUNT and sign in like you would facebook. EVERYONE from Hu Jintao to your kindergarten students has one.

Aug 24, 2012 19:44 Report Abuse

17

LARedneck
comment|30745|100509

I somewhat agree with Jessica in this article, that is stereotypically a rehash of her past articles with a lot of fluff lacking in substance. More specifically:

1) Learning and using, even a little Mandarin or local language, is a No-brainer in any country, including China.

2) While I agree the tastiest food can often be found in local restaurants ten times cheaper than the more expensive restaurants, there is one major problem for most expats. Without a Chinese spouse, Chinese boyfriend/girlfriend, Chinese friend(s), or the ability to speak or read Chinese, please tell me how can you select? These small restaurants typically have no English speaking staff, much less a menu in English. Many of the more expensive and comfortable Chinese restaurants may have some English speaking staff and a menu with Chinese/English and even a photo of the dish. Hygiene is NOT guaranteed anywhere and is always a concern for expats as well as Chinese. The number of people in a restaurant is not the benchmark for hygiene.

3) Sorry, this is pure BS. Why would anyone want to travel in the harshest conditions UNLESS you are forced to through lack of ticket availability or money? Do you really think the average Chinese person WANTS to be in a hard seat for a long train journey, or even a shorter one? I don’t think so. Why would you even remotely suggest to purposely making yourself uncomfortable or miserable on a long trip? If the “China experience” is your premise, then we could infer we should try living on the street for several days like a beggar and see how it feels. Maybe you should so you could write about this unusual experience which would be infinitely more interesting to read.

While public city buses may be necessary for an expat with limited funds, it just increases your chances for being the victim of petty theft. Long distance buses are possibly necessary to more remote areas outside a larger city and are not that bad depending on how much you spend.

4) While I agree the expat should accept most invitations to a Chinese friend’s home for meals or gatherings, it usually takes a few years in one city before you get such invitations. Chinese are NOT so quick or open to invite foreigners into their homes as if many Western people are, even after a first meeting. I cannot say about Beijing, but having lived in China more than five years in Guangzhou, Shenzhen and now Chengdu, I have NEVER had “More invitations than I can handle” even from best Chinese friends much less “Wanting to adopt me”. I think this is very misleading to any China newbie’s who this article seems to be oriented.

5) Avoid living where other expats do? Find an old apartment and live like a local? I live in one of the nicest places in Chengdu, but it is mostly upper class or even rich Chinese who live here. I am not one of the rich. What is wrong with having very good security, well-maintained gardens, nice elevators, no trash littering the hallways, regular trash pick-up, etc in a nice neighborhood IF you can afford it? Many restaurants, local markets, etc. recognize me after nearly four years. Did I need to go slumming? BTW, I’ve NEVER had a next door neighbor invite me for dinner in all these years. This is not because I’m unfriendly, it’s because China apartment life is not much different than in Western countries where neighbors rarely see each other, much less know each other. This is often true even when people live in a stand-alone house and often see each other cutting grass, working in the garden, etc. People typically get an apartment that fits their personal budget. I would rather pay a little more and feel comfortable in my home. You “Talk the talk, but do you walk the walk?” when it comes to where you live?

6) Connecting with the local scene is another NO-brainer, IF you want some further immersion in Chinese culture.

The bottom line is even foreigners married to a Chinese National will ALWAYS be an outsider or foreigner. There are just different degrees of how much of an outsider you are. Even those foreigners with permanent residency will always be foreigners in the eyes of Chinese.

You usually have well-written articles, however I will submit, like the old Wendy’s Hamburger commercial in the USA, “Where’s the beef?” I hope you can stop just churning-out these short articles to meet some quota that lack much substance. I believe you truly have the China experience and ability to give the readers more meaningful or useful information to enhance their life in China.

I don’t believe an expat has to “Go Native” to have a good China experience, nor should they just hang-out with other expats. Few of my friends are expats, but this doesn’t mean I’ve developed a taste for Baijiu even when forced to drink with Chinese friends or at business dinners. Given the choice, I’ll stick with my Jim Beam and Colas, Long Island Ice Teas, and beer when I drink. What’s wrong with that?


Aug 24, 2012 21:14 Report Abuse

18

Guest388182
comment|65870|43131

some people just can't take it, or talk it, straight...

Oct 27, 2015 06:32 Report Abuse

19

Tim
comment|30753|0

Another cliche dominated article on this website. Why do the writers here feel that they can lump every expat into the one basket and suggest we are all the same. You say drinking with Australians but the Americans are the dominant expats here, probably an indication of the current economic state of that country.
Live in a local compound. Yes we all desire to live in an apartment with a squat toilet.
An article written by someone who does not spend most of their time in Beijing or Shanghai would be a refreshing change.

Aug 25, 2012 07:54 Report Abuse

20

jixiang
comment|30762|0

For the author of this article:

the fact that there are "hundreds,even thousands" of local dialects does NOT make Chinese unique at all. Dialects exist almost everywhere, and some countries have as much variety in their dialects as China does, even though their size is much smaller (eg. Italy).

I'm betting this article was written by someone from a place like the US or Australia, where there aren't lots of mutually unintelligible dialects of English, because the country's history is too short for them to have developed.

Aug 25, 2012 14:36 Report Abuse

21

JAY (Just Another Yangguizi)
comment|30763|0

"Of course dating and marrying a Chinese person is probably the quickest and most effective way to throw yourself into Chinese culture..." If it's that quick, it's an effective way to have a real disaster.

To quote an old Norwegian billboard for condoms - "Think About It, Before You Throw Yourself Out In It."

Aug 25, 2012 14:39 Report Abuse

22

jixiang
comment|30764|0

For the author of this article:

the fact that there are "hundreds,even thousands" of local dialects does NOT make Chinese unique at all. Dialects exist almost everywhere, and some countries have as much variety in their dialects as China does, even though their size is much smaller (eg. Italy).

I'm betting this article was written by someone from a place like the US or Australia, where there aren't lots of mutually unintelligible dialects of English, because the country's history is too short for them to have developed.

Aug 25, 2012 14:41 Report Abuse

23

Scree
comment|30787|0

"You came all the way to China but most of your friends are English speaking expats." english speaking immigrants, not expats. we are all immigrants and as guests we should respect local culure and rules and in turn we will be respected.

Aug 26, 2012 19:02 Report Abuse

24

122345
comment|30834|0

"Don’t Be an Outsider in China"

when are you clowns in this country going to wake up to the fact it is the 21st Century.

Freedom of travel
Freedom of speech
Freedom of information

except in....China!

Aug 29, 2012 14:53 Report Abuse

25

val1
comment|30837|0

You don't share a cockroach nest with a squat toilet just to fit in if you have a chance to live in a nice apartment of your own.

You don't have to eat food of unknown origin at some "hole-in-the-wall" place just because it's cheap or just to fit in while you can get a good meal for a reasonable price in many places.

You don't travel in a hard seat just to fit in if you have a chance to take a sleeper or a plane.

You don't differentiate your friends as "Chinese" and/or "Foreign" - you hang out with the people you like regardless of their nationality.
....
How about being yourself in China?
That's the best way to fit in anywhere IMO.

All in all, the article is meh for the most part.

Aug 29, 2012 17:02 Report Abuse