Source: huanqiu.com

The following is a story about an unfortunate Chinese netizen called "Wounse". Before the Spring Festival, Wounse's first visit to his girlfriend's house didn't go quite as planned. Instead of being greeted with open arms, Wounse found himself facing a number of acute obstacles, including a heated debate with his potential parents-in-law, which in the end ultimately resulted in the end of his relationship. However, what's even more shocking about this situation is that it's not unique in China. According to one journalist who questioned over 200 members on QQ, over 30 of the respondents had actually experienced something similar, and most of them were female. Below are three cases that show why these relationships didn't work out.

1) Case No. 1 - No house? No wedding!
Wounse and his girlfriend were going out for a year already and the Spring Festival was the perfect joyful occasion to go along with his girlfriend and meet her parents. However, what he didn't expect was that the meeting would destroy his relationship. In an online post, the 25 year old described how it was obvious that the parents of his 23 year old girlfriend were being completely hostile from the start, pointing out the fact that they were neither married, nor did he own a house. They went even further and accused him of not showing any sense of responsibility and even told him that they didn't want him to see their daughter anymore. Wounse first thought that they were only bluffing, when to his utter surprise, the parents called on a number of relatives to hurl even more oral abuse at him. Each of them accused him of lacking a sense of responsibility because he hadn't bought a house. He himself, on the other hand, didn't believe that there was a connection between not being able to afford a house and lacking responsibility. As long as the couple themselves know how to plan a life together then that's enough; parents shouldn't interfere to such an extreme extent, Wounse believed. However, because neither Wounse nor his girlfriend's relatives could convince the other of their convictions, Wounse ended up parting on bad terms and his girlfriend broke up with him.

2) Case No. 2 - Views that are world's apart
Huo Yan, a 24 year old assistant at a law firm, went through similar trouble with her boyfriend's mother this year. The first time they met was anything but a happy experience and actually created insurmountable obstacles which led to the crumbling of their relationship.

Huo Yan explained that her boyfriend is a typical "phoenix boy" (a Chinese term that refers to someone who comes from a poor background but ended up getting rich) who became successful. At the time, his family scraped together as many loans as they could get their hands on in order to send their son to university. They hoped that their investment would pay off someday and that he would eventually support them for the rest of their lives.

In contrast, Huo Yan grew up in excellent conditions as an only-child in the family. However, her "mother-in-law" had numerous bad habits, including eavesdropping on their phone calls and leaning against the door to listen in on their conversations. Huo Yan was extremely busy with work but despite this the mother-in-law thought she could use filial piety as a means to get Huo Yan to do lots of other chores. Huo Yan was saddened that their views on family dynamics were so different, and so her relationship with her boyfriend came to an abrupt end.

3) Case No. 3 - Workaholic meets unreasonable mother-in-law
One netizen surnamed Huang also joined the QQ discussion. She told the journalist that she was a 28 year old middle manager at a foreign company, who would often be stuck at work until late at night.

Around the time when she and her boyfriend were talking about marriage, her first meeting with the future in-laws ended up being very unexpected and ultimately changed everything. Her "mother-in-law" wouldn't accept the fact that she was a workaholic. She believed that a woman too busy with her job wouldn't be capable of looking after her family and would even participate in some indecent work affairs that would make her dishonest. 

Huang could tolerate her mother-in-law's words, but it didn't end there. She went further and told her that she must have a child, quit her job and stay at home to look after the baby ASAP. It was these words that Huang couldn't tolerate and so, they started arguing. "I want to have my own career and not just sit around at home being a wife," Huang said. After their argument went nowhere, Huang decided to break up with her boyfriend.
 

Source: huanqiu.com

Related links
Money Honey: The Cost of Dating in China
Conflicting Mindsets: 3 Foreign Contestants on Chinese Dating Show
The Home Front: Chinese Mother-In-Law Nightmares

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Keywords: ruined relationships China meeting Chinese parents Chinese in-laws ruin relationships