China is a tough place to get a handle on and Chinese culture has been confounding foreigners for centuries. While it is not appropriate any longer to call the Chinese “inscrutable,” (a colonial moniker used to describe the Chinese as “exotic” and unknowable) nonetheless certain aspects of Chinese society remain very difficult for foreigners to come to accept. Here we take a look at some cultural and social phenomenon that most challenge foreigners hoping to truly understand China.

1) Necessary Evils

Most Chinese people generally take a rather pragmatic view of corruption as a byproduct of a cultural emphasis upon connections, favours, and getting ahead via any means necessary. Most Westerners find it very difficult to come to terms with how rife Chinese schools are with academic dishonesty, how companies don’t necessarily offer promotions based on merit but based on who knows who, or how national competitions are often decided based on whose father offers the biggest bribe to the judges. While situations such as these likely exist in the West as well, they aren’t nearly as openly accepted. Most Westerners would be shocked to hear that a classmate’s parents paid off the principal to change their child’s grades, but most Chinese people would view similar news with a cynical shrug and a laugh at most.

While few people in China would go so far as to say that corruption is a good thing, the citizens of this country are well aware of what it takes to make things happen in a country where lots of things are inherently unfair. Foreigners who try to do business in China likewise quickly lose their own squeamishness regarding such necessary evils as bribery and fancy baijiu dinners where all important connections are established. The various under-the-table ways of getting things done in China are probably one of the most difficult aspects of Chinese culture to understand, but at the same time one of the things foreigners find most necessary to embrace if they want to succeed in China.

2) Love and Marriage

Chinese pragmatism extends beyond business wheelings and dealings and often interferes with that holiest of holies – love. Most Westerners, even the most jaded cynics, still take an innately romantic view of love and marriage. Most hold the view that marriage should be based on love, and most find the Chinese view of marriage as a partnership that is sometimes more for convenience and mutual benefit to be rather hard to swallow. A Chinese man might propose to a woman knowing full well that she is likely marrying him due to his status and what he can offer her, more so than any romantic feelings on her part. He will expect her to be loyal, of course, and of course the hope is that feelings will grow eventually, but a well to do Chinese man would not necessarily feel hurt or cheated if he knew that his girlfriend valued his wallet above his other assets. By the same token, most Chinese people are very conscious of status when they choose potential partners. In general, while a man may marry beneath his status it is almost never acceptable for an educated city woman, for example, to marry a man from a peasant background.

For romantic Westerners the intrusion of pragmatism, of finances, of class boundaries into the realm of love is considered rather crass. In general, Western parents pride themselves on being open to all types of families, and while some parents will voice their disapproval at certain unions for their children, few would outright forbid a marriage on the basis of class or race. Likewise, while many Western women might want a man who can provide for a family, few would outright state that they wouldn’t marry a man who doesn’t own a house or doesn’t make above a certain amount a year. The difference in attitudes towards love and marriage between foreigners and Chinese people has been the cause of many broken hearts and misunderstandings between couples.

3) Communication Breakdown  

Many a foreigner working in China has expressed frustration about how Chinese people often just won’t come out and say what they mean. A boss who tells you he’ll discuss the issue with you later may quite possibly mean that he doesn’t intend to discuss this issue at all. “Maybe” often means no. You may be told something is “impossible” when what is really meant is “I don’t know how to do this.” It can be incredibly frustrating trying to piece together the real message behind the doublespeak, and many people come away with the idea that Chinese people just cannot be trusted. Westerners, Americans in particular, tend to be more direct in how they approach certain problems. If your boss doesn’t like your idea he’ll tell you so. If there’s no chance of getting the day off on Friday, he’ll tell you so (instead of saying he’ll think about it and then being mysteriously incommunicado until Friday has come and gone).

The reasons for differences in communication styles are varied and multifaceted, but often come down to the all important concept of face. No one wants to lose face, or cause others to lose face, and a vague approach is the best way to ensure that no face is lost. Perhaps the person you are speaking to does not actually hold the decision making power, but does not want to give that fact away. Another factor is that, especially in business dealings, Chinese society strongly encourages bargaining and negotiating. If you commit to a position too early you may give away valuable negotiating power and put yourself at a disadvantage. So there are many reasons why often you cannot get a straight answer from your Chinese boss, or the Chinese client you’re trying to cut a deal with, not necessarily related to some inherent dishonesty but rather to different cultural norms.

4) The Ladder Culture

Chinese society has often been described as one giant ladder, with people at the top and people at the bottom, always climbing over each other to get to the higher rungs. On a ladder everyone knows their position at any given time. Everyone has their superiors, and their inferiors. This goes back as far as Confucian times, when society was rigidly stratified, and when social class dictated a person’s role in society. It may seem strange that China should remain, in so many ways, such a rigidly classist society, especially given that the Communist revolution was supposed to remove social classes, but in many ways the Capitalist West is still much more egalitarian than Communist China. While class plays different roles in various Western countries, with some countries being much more class conscious than others, China’s ladder culture goes beyond class and extends into every day living.

In China people tend to follow their superiors and look to a superior to direct them as to what to do. Outside-the-box individual thinking is not generally encouraged. Students are told to follow the example of model students rather than to think creatively or to be themselves. Workers are supposed to do exactly as they are told, and personal initiative is not encouraged. Unlike the West, China has a society where everyone knows what their role should be and tends to stick to it rather rigidly. For some Westerners it is fairly hard to comprehend why people seem to value the hierarchy so highly, especially when it seems to be a rather oppressive institution, but for Chinese people the ladder culture is simply a way of life, something that exists in all cultures, whether or not we overtly acknowledge its existence.
 

Related links
Different Strokes for Different Folks: 5 Chinese Lifestyle Differences
9 Potentially Exasperating/Embarrassing Moments to Avoid in China
What Should Foreigners Know When They Arrive in China?

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Keywords: how to understand Chinese culture understanding Chinese culture Challenges to understanding China