In Samuel Huntington's 1996 landmark book The Clash of Civilizations, he argued that people's cultural and religious identities would be the primary source of conflict in the future. And although the theory was later critiqued and disproved from multiple perspectives for being too static and fatalistic, it's no small secret that globalization has led to a plethora of cross-cultural misunderstandings and annoyances. In the context of expats living in China, particularly those who frequent the eChinacities Answers website, this can occasionally manifest itself as token "Why do Chinese…." (and the counter-token "Why do Foreigners") types of questions. That the working title for this article was "Reasonable Answers to Potentially Insensitive Questions" alone should tell you that we are not dealing with sunshine and daisies here. Yet, for however insensitive as a question may appear, thankfully there are expats (and Chinese friends) out there than can read past the surface tensions and attempt to answer at it objectively.

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Question 1: Why do Chinese like asking about how much my salary is?

DaBen: They ask each other the same question.  It's all about numbers so they can rank you with everyone else they know. How much do you make? How big of a bonus did you get for the New Year? How much can you drink? Anything that gives them a fixed scale to mentally create a pecking order, and provide a chance to brag (either by him making more than you or to brag to others that he's connected to you and you make so much). Chinese friends have confessed to me that they openly lie to even their friends about this, so they won't look bad.

HappyExPat: The Chinese affinity for curiosity—and in a way even gossip—is second to none. And whenever they see a foreigner, more so. For them it is natural to ask what your salary is, and many other rude or impertinent questions. It is not based on the color of your skin, and in a way, not even based on if you are a foreigner or a local. For them, information is valuable; it is a way to earn "face" among their peers. And thus they do ask a bunch of very private and personal questions. So you may feel better, I have been asked about: my age, my income, my savings and investments, if I had a car and a house back home, was my former wife fat or skinny, was she pretty, do I like Chinese girls, which ones are better in bed etc. Sometimes I offer brief answers out of courtesy.  But when they start getting deeper into what evidently is none of their business, I just reply "sorry, can't answer that".

Question 2: Why are most foreign men in China only interested in getting laid and acting like jerks?

Xinyuren: In answer to your question (and unfortunately verified by the answers here), it is because there are way too many jerk foreigners in China. Sometimes I too am ashamed. I cannot give a defence for their actions, but I can offer a few explanations. Foreigners do not have a "home" in China. There is no permanency. So marriage is usually out of the question. But the sex drive continues... They are far from home with no-one to watch them. When "jerks" are in this situation, they act like.....jerks. Cultural differences allow Chinese girls to wear these micro mini-skirts and shorts and high heels (clothing that would mark a girl to be promiscuous in the West) along with those cute coy smiles... this will drive a Western man to almost madness. The foreigners in China are not typical. It takes a certain type of person to go live in a foreign country and culture. Also foreigners are more direct and outgoing (usually). Foreigner men want the same thing that Chinese men want. We just have the gall to actually go for it. In short, Western men are wolves, Chinese men are sheepish. Whatever the reasons, though, there is no excuse for being a jerk and as I said, there are far too many in China.

Question 3: Why do Chinese eat dog?

PoutineDuFion: The main reason is cultural, according to a Chinese friend of mine. It's because Westerners see cats and dogs as household pets, and we even consider them part of family. So eating them is a big no-no, and we are shocked when we see dogs hanging from a stall. Very interestingly, when I arrived in America, I had to live in a trailer park. It was a nice experience, but I admit it took some time before people would see me as one of them. They knew I was born in France, because of my accent. They didn't make fun of me, and encouraged me to get better. But they were really curious, and asked me several times why would French people eat frogs and snails. For them, it was "weird". Maybe it is the same feeling we have when we see Chinese eating cats and dogs. I remember a woman once told me she would never try eating a snail (even with a ton of garlic!) but that "if a lot of people do it, then there must be a reason to it"…

4) Why do 99% of the foreigners walk around the city and not acknowledge other foreigners?

Super8: We don't acknowledge other foreigners because we don't know them! How's that for an answer? I don't acknowledge Chinese, Japanese, American, Canadian or any other person unless I know them or a circumstance arises that we must speak. I am cordial in every way to every person otherwise.

Coffaholic: Many foreigners are just anti-social or have no interest in befriending or talking to you. China is a more collective society on the whole (though this is of course changing). Being around people and talking to neighbours is very normal. In the West, people are more reserved and cautious when it comes to interacting with people. I find the whole friendship game a lot more calculated by Westerners and it's pretty exhausting.

5) Why are Chinese men so loud?

Bonita8187: Just men? I'm loud too. When my boyfriend tells me, "honey you are yelling", generally I will respond, "Sorry honey, I just have a powerful voice." I will explain to you why some people are loud in China. Let's start from primary school, where teachers will consider you a GOOD student if you can speak out loud in class. It's a basic requirement to be a good student. Same as in middle school, high school etc. People are taught to speak loud.
 

Related links
Expat Q&A: Trials and Tribulations of Being an English Teacher in China
Expat Q&A: Satisfactions and Regrets on Living in China
Expat Q&A: 5 Questions and Answers about Marriage in China

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