Chinese Kids, photo: Baidu

Children’s day is upon us and I have been wondering about what Chinese children really need. They need love and praise. That’s right. I think the thing that Chinese kids need the most is a little more praise. Chinese kids are often troubled, lack confidence and have low self-esteem. This is because the majority of their teachers and parents never say good things about them. The kids I see walk up and down Beijing’s streets wearing frowns and looks of sadness. Even worse, sometimes Beijing kids are so rebellious that you can see them smoking cigarettes. These phenomena, the smoking, the angry and confused grimaces, are a result of lack of praise. Kids throughout the country are unconsciously rebelling against our ‘praise-less’ society.

Chinese parents and schools put intense pressure on these children. Teachers and parents often insult, criticize and put pressure on the vast majority of students. Only a small amount of students ever receive praise and encouragement.

I have never understood why Chinese parents and teachers are so harsh on their students. They must understand that children who are never praised will have problems that could last their whole lives. Many people can never get out of the shadows of their childhood years because their memories are full of angry insults and hoarse yells.

If this situation does not change, will Children’s Day be of any use to Chinese kids? I don’t think so.

Everyone needs praise. American psychologist William James once said: “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated, praised, and respected.” Wanting praise is a fundamental desire of every human being.

That is why when our children are only a couple month old babies, you can see them smile and hear them laugh happily whenever they are praised. But for some reason, as the children grow up, their parents stop praising them. The same parents who would have praised their baby for any small accomplishment never say good things about their own children after they get older. Those of us who are teachers should understand that yelling at, punishing and criticizing the students who fall behind will not help them at all. If you look at these students as completely hopeless and only criticize them, nothing good will come of it. But if you find something praiseworthy about the children, and you point that out to them, you will see that they will study harder and may catch up. The children will be like completely different students.

I do not expect everyone we praise to become an incredibly successful person, but at least it will stop them from becoming a troubled failure.

Were you aware that Christians everyday praise the Lord? Day in and day out, they sing their praises to the Lord and he never gets fed up with it. In fact, it is said that he needs this praise. Don’t you think people need it even more?

So on this holiday I am pleading with everyone to give our children what they need: praise!

See this article in its original form here

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