The Price of Marriage in China: Infographic Shows Astounding Data

The Price of Marriage in China: Infographic Shows Astounding Data
Jun 11, 2013 Translated by eChinacities.com

Editor’s note: this article was translated and edited from a piece that appeared on Ifeng.com. The article discusses a recent map of China that shows the results of a survey undertaken by a real estate company in Chongqing. The map shows the amounts in every province that potential husbands are expected to pay the families of their potential wives as “betrothal gifts”. There are some interesting regional disparities, though some have expressed concern that it simply highlights the fact that marriage in China is more about money than love in modern times. The article focuses on the results from Henan, and quizzes several people regarding their own betrothal gift stories.  

Before getting married, many potential husbands in China must provide a “betrothal gift” to the family of the bride-to-be. This usually comes in the form of cash in a red envelope or specific gifts that relate to the customs of certain provinces. However, as quality of life in China improves and the amount of wealthy people increases, expectations are growing sky high. Some families now expect potential husbands to provide a house, a car, a huge amount of money, or even all three. The above picture displays a map of China that shows the results of a survey of over 300 people who explained what they had to provide as a betrothal gift prior to their marriage. The map is divided into five money categories: 1 million RMB, 500,000 RMB, 100,000 RMB, 10,000 RMB and 0 RMB.

The map was published on Weibo at around 10:00 on May 4 by a user named “@重庆新浪乐居”, the Weibo account of a real estate company in Chongqing. After the picture garnered huge popularity, a reporter got in touch with the creator of the map, the company’s Deputy Director of Planning, Hu Zhiwei. Hu explained that the survey took a month to complete and was done over the phone and by email, and that due to the fact that they surveyed people previously unknown to the company, the data is relatively objective.     


Source: baidu.com

1,000,000 yuan zone
Shanghai from 100,000 + 1 house/flat
Tianjin from 60,000 + 1 house/flat
500,000 yuan zone
Liaoning, Jilin and Heilongjiang 68,000 + 3 golds(earrings, necklace+ring)+9,999 cash in red envelopes + 1 house/flat
Jiangxi from 38,000 + 1 house/flat
Qinghai from 30,000 + 1 house/flat
100,000 yuan zone
Shangdong 1.5kg worth of 100 yuan notes(around 130,000)
Hunan from 50,000 + 1 car
Zhejiang (village) from 100,000. (city) from 150,000
10,000 yuan zone
Hubei from 80,000
Tibet from 80,000
Henan from 60,000
Shanxi from 58,888 yuan
Gansu (village) from 30,000.(city )from 60,000
Inner Mongolia 8,888 + livestock (in multiples of nine) + furniture + 3 golds
Shaanxi from 30,000 +3 golds +3 silvers + bedding set
Taiwan 160,000 taiwan dollars + 6 types of gold jewellery + wedding cookies
Hong Kong gold jewellery set + cash
Fujian from 33,000 + gold jewellery + gold crown
Guizhou from 22,000 + electronics + 4 pieces jewellery set (earrings,necklace, bracelet and ankle bracelet)
Macau 2-5x monthly salary
Guangxi from 18,888 (then 28,888、38,888...)
Jiangsu 20,000(10,000 from each parent)+ 4x additional gifts
Guangdong from 10,000 + 3 golds
Henan 20,000、60,000...(excluding 40,000)
Anhui from 16,000
Beijing from 10,001+2x sweet treats,2x bottles of mao tai+ 2x boxes of tea +2x crates of fruit
Sichuan form 10,000 average is 30,000
Yunnan from 10,000 usually 16666
Ningxia from 10,000-20,000 cash
Hebei 10,000+jewellery
Xinjiang 6,666 or 8,8888 +2x additional gifts
0 yuan zone
Chongqing 0


Focus: Henan province shows surprising results

Recalling the results in Henan, where people surveyed stated they had to provide around 600,000 RMB as a betrothal gift, Hu explained that the figure was very high despite the fact that all the people they surveyed had different income levels. During the survey, Hu spoke to many young people who previously had partners for many years but had to part ways due to the demands of some parents regarding betrothal gifts. By creating this map, Hu hopes to highlight the idea that love is precious, and isn’t something that should be determined by money.   

Netizens from Henan have responded to the data shown on the as being somewhat accurate, and some added that even in rural areas, husbands-to-be often had to pay around 100,000 RMB. The reporter spoke to a man surnamed Zhu from Henan’s Xinyang city, who stated that he had to pay 80,000 RMB to his wife’s parents before he could marry her. “At that time (2009), I had been working for around four or five years, and had only saved 40,000 RMB. Due to the pressures created by the demands of the parents, I almost had a breakdown.” Zhu later explained that he had to borrow money from his relatives, and only finished paying back the money he borrowed last year. Not all the cases from Henan proved to be that extreme however, as a man surnamed Liu, from Xinxiang in the northern part of the province explained that he only had to give his mother-in-law 20,000 RMB. Liu went on to say that when he wanted to buy a house, his mother-in-law even gave back the 20,000 RMB so he could afford to purchase one.     

Face and peer pressure come into the mix

However, after interviewing over ten people who had married in the past two or three years, the reporter found that cases in Henan such as Liu’s were pretty scarce, and that the average betrothal gift paid was around 40-50,000 RMB. Many of those questioned stated that they thought peer pressure was to blame for this phenomenon. Zhu recalled that when he was trying to negotiate with his mother-in-law regarding how much he should pay, she would always bring up the stories of other families’ children and the amounts they demanded. Zhu’s mother-in-law firmly stated that it was largely to do with saving face. Some women told the reporter that the reason why such high amounts money are demanded is because it allows them to see how much importance the man attaches to his potential wife.

Marriage seen as a business exchange

On May 4, the reporter spoke to several marriage agencies in Henan’s provincial capital, Zhengzhou. Regarding the figure of 600,000 RMB that the map depicts, many of these agencies believed that in Zhengzhou, this number is well above average. Zhang Mingsuo, a sociology expert from Zhengzhou University explained that for rural families, many parents expect a large sum of money prior to the daughter’s marriage as to ensure that they are guaranteed a comfortable life in their old age. Zhang said that as long as China’s society continues to develop, then amounts of money demanded as betrothal gifts will increase. For many people, it seems that love and marriage has become something of a business exchange more than anything. Zhang believes that betrothal gifts cannot provide the basis of a happy marriage, and that true love and mutual respect and understanding are key. “When considering marriage, it cannot be done for face or for in the name of peer pressure. The real basis for love and marriage is happiness and longevity.”
 

Source: Ifeng
 

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Keywords: husbands in China betrothal gifts betrothal gift marriage in China

5 Comments

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1

kyllonen06
comment|40810|269366

This article certainly knows how to make a man nervous.

Oct 21, 2013 21:51 Report Abuse

2

katt
comment|38256|111186

I have to say it is very common that in China the potential husbands give a huge amount of money to the family of the bride-to-be,I married my ex without taking any money,and I was called a stupid woman for long time,but I don't feel regret.The tradition of giving “betrothal gift” has been existing hundreds of years ,in the old time a woman married to a man meant she will never belong to her own family anymore,the married woman barely went back to her own family,she took her parents-in-law as her own parents and live with them loyally.In order to compensate the wiives's family in the old time, the husbands would give a lot of money to their wives' family since their wivies' family lost labour force which was the most important thing in old China.I feel bad that the old custom lasts until nowadays,many peopel can't get married because they can't afford it,I still believe that marrige is based on love and trust but not the money.

Jun 15, 2013 20:39 Report Abuse

3

13david
comment|38119|228230

I hope the 'new generation' will cast off these traditions and there is evidence that it is happening. Some insight into my wedding in China. Firstly we decided to not go back to her home town so I have only met her sister. I was told that if i invited even one relative most of the rest would have to be included,icluding air fares! Because all her family had pressured her [ at family events] to have a child she wanted no more of it. So I think at least I got off lightly. Also seeing as her father said being married to a foreigner wouldn't work, I didn't miss out on much. My wife speaks fluent English , but pity those poor foreign souls who have to stand like 'stunned mullets"at their weddings.Grinning and knowing nothing of what is going on. Recently she phoned her father and talked about a car I had bought for her.On hearing it wasn't new the conversation rapidly switched to something else. I feel overall that my experience with traditional Chinese marriages leads me to look to them fading away not of course for the old but for the young.

Jun 11, 2013 14:24 Report Abuse

4

Sinobear
comment|38124|57378

These are not "traditions"...20 years ago, owning a vehicle and private ownership of housing was unheard of. It's just yet another money-grab but short-sighted older generations. Figure this, "traditionally' a woman would "belong" to the man's family after marriage and have nothing to do with her own family. Today, the woman is still expected to provide for her parents. Hypocrisy all around.

Jun 11, 2013 18:26 Report Abuse

5

tauney
comment|38116|72146

You guys need to edit that infographic...ankie brocelet? nockloce?

Jun 11, 2013 11:11 Report Abuse