China’s “Puppy Love” Phenomenon: 25% of Teens Already in Relationships

China’s “Puppy Love” Phenomenon: 25% of Teens Already in Relationships
Mar 11, 2013 By eChinacities.com

Editor's note: the following article was translated and edited from an article that first appeared in the Yangcheng Evening News. The article discusses a new social phenomenon, nicknamed "Generation Z puppy love" that is sweeping the nation. An increasing number of Chinese children in their early teens and younger are in relationships and using the L word, much to concern of their parents and other adults. Is Chinas puppy love phenomenon merely an innocent schoolyard romance or is it a worrying trend on the rise?

"...It's all so exhausting, I don't think I'll ever love again!" Last November, this seemingly innocent-sounding comment posted on a popular Chinese social media website became a lightning rod for an intense debate about the state of Chinese society. While the comment itself is rather banal, netizens were shocked and surprised by its context—the user who posted it was a 14-year-old boy referring to his 12-year-old girlfriend. In the past few years, the “puppy love” phenomenon has gradually spread throughout China's Generation Z, one of several monikers given to the generation born around the turn of the millennium ("00后" in Chinese). Also referred to as Generation@ or Net Generation, despite their young age, this group of adolescents are now frequently blogging about love and relationships. And concerns over this penchant for precociousness was recently confirmed by an informal survey conducted in a junior high school class. When asked by a reporter how many of them had been in relationships, about one-quarter of the class raised their hands. Suffice it to say, the puppy love phenomenon is incredibly unnerving for many older Chinese.

From ridicule to deep discussion on the matter

"I missed my chance with five, really liked four, truly loved two, regretted breaking up with one and currently like one"..."I'm 14.5 years old, single and my mind and body are exhausted, I don't think I'll ever love again..."  This young boy's confession online last November was widely ridiculed by older netizens when it was first noticed. Self-deprecating 20 and 30-somethings quipped that they must've entered "old age" already, poking fun at the young boy for his detached woe-is-me attitude.

According to web traffic experts, the average "lifespan" of a post that goes viral is generally just 3-4 days, yet this post is now in its third month of active discussion. Such a long lifespan suggests that what started off as a typical online mockery has now moved on to a deeper discussion about the implications of the puppy love phenomenon on China’s youth. Confirming the serious nature of this topic, in recent weeks, the original post and discussion of the puppy love phenomenon have received considerable mention in mainstream Chinese media.

Informal survey: 25% of the students were in a relationship

As the word of the puppy love phenomenon spread from the web to the real world, one report decided to interview some local students to see how much truth there was to these adolescent blog posts. Sure enough, the reporter found that some of the students she interviewed claimed to have been in love—several of them even said they had experienced romantic feelings for others as far back as kindergarten or pre-school.

Xiao Hao is a 12-year old boy in his first year of junior high school. He told the reporter that such schoolyard romances are quite common: "About one quarter of the students in my class talk about dating, usually with other students in the class or the classroom across the hall." Xiao went on to explain that to never have been in a relationship with someone in his class was actually becoming the counter-culture thing to do. "What do students define as 'love'?" the reporter asks him. Xiao responded, "Always being together… everyone thinks they have a really close relationship and that they really care for each other. When two people don't let anyone else come any closer to them than the other, that's 'love'."

As touching as that explanation may be, examples of students frequently "breaking up and moving on to someone else" abound in China's puppy love phenomenon. According to Taozi, an 11-year-old sixth grade student, "There was this boy in my class who was really short. His girlfriend was significantly taller than him. She ended up dumping him, which made him lose his confidence." However, Taozi continued, there was another boy in his class who was quite handsome and had been in several relationships in the past, "but now he's together with this new girl, and he says that he's found true love."

Online, the reporter found that many of China's social media websites host "Generation Z Puppy Love" (00后早恋吧) groups, which unsurprisingly receive a lot of traffic. There are even posts on "how to pick up girls" (沟女秘籍), with many children the same age enthusiastically offering advice.

Parents of Gen Z: worried that disproval will lead to rebellion

No doubt, parents are among the most concerned about the puppy love phenomenon. In the past, most parents would severely scold their children if discovered to be having a schoolyard romance. This was done to contain their deviant behaviour before it got any worse. But, interestingly, while parents of Generation Z—which were mostly born in the seventies—are concerned about their children getting caught up in puppy love, they’re also worried that if they are too strict that it will only cause their children to rebel further. The ideological contradictions present in this situation have them feeling helpless.

Mr He, a 36-year-old first became worried that his 13 year-old son, "Guodong", was showing symptoms of puppy love after he discovered him sneaking away every time he’d send a text message. However, he is still unsure whether it’s best to "lay down the law" with his son or if he should look for opportunities to dissuade Guodong from getting caught up in a relationship at such a young age: "Obviously, I don't think this puppy love phenomenon is healthy. It influences my son's study habits, it affects his mood, it even affects his health. But is it really in his best interest for me to simply ban him from it? I don't know how I should guide him."

Mrs Huang, in her late thirties, is facing similar issues. Previously, her son came to her and told her that he'd had romantic feelings about a girl at school. At the time, Huang was at a loss for words: "My son was only in his third year of primary school at the time, and told me that he'd been chasing after this girl but she turned him away because he was too short. He is currently in his sixth year of primary school and he's much taller. Now the girl has started pursuing him, and he asked me if he should go for her." Hearing her son's words, Huang didn't know whether she should laugh or cry: "Everyone uses the internet these days, and many television shows have stories about love and romance. I think this may have caused him to think about such things earlier than normal... If I try to hold him back, I'm worried that he won't respond well. If I do nothing, his grades will suffer. What should I do?"

Expert: Parents are responsible for puppy love phenomenon

Hu Shenzhi, a well-regarded psychologist and member of the Guangdong Psychology Counsel's Expert Committee, believes that these children are too young to understand the true meaning of love: "What defines 'love'? There are several key points: First, it's the passionate intimacy between two people; a physical closeness. Second, it's that they get along well with each other; this is a matter of commitment. Two children can enjoy each other's company, but they lack emotional development to really understand what 'love' is. This is to say, what they have is not true love."

According to Chi Yukai, an associate professor at South China Normal University, even though the puppy love phenomenon is quite common among children today, the parents are actually responsible for it becoming so widespread. Chi believes that parents are still very secretive when it comes to talking about love with their children. However, as children are increasingly finding out about love on their own, there's no use in deliberately avoiding it any longer. Parents need to be more open with their children and talk about love.

Source: kids.163.com
 

Related links
Sex Education in China – In the Dark or With the Lights on?
China's Youth: Rebellious, Modernising or Misunderstood?
Post 80s and 90s: What’s With the Ultra Short Generation Gaps in China?

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Keywords: China Generation Z China’s puppy love phenomenon

2 Comments

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Guest688330

In your article you quote a noted psychologist who stated that love is FIRST the passionate intimacy between two people. Then SECOND he mentioned that they "get along well with each other". With priorities like this being espoused by so called experts, is it any wonder that neither the children nor thier parnents have a clue about how to address this trend? The doctor mentioned nothing of the self-sacrificing commitment between two people, with each puting the interest of the other ahead of their own. That is what true love is.

Mar 11, 2013 20:28 Report Abuse

DaqingDevil

China's youth...welcome to the 21st Century!!

Mar 11, 2013 09:32 Report Abuse