Not So Nice to Meet You – Things Chinese People Don’t Say

Not So Nice to Meet You – Things Chinese People Don’t Say
Mar 25, 2010 By Fred Dintenfass , eChinacities.com

You’ve taken classes, listened to religiously Chinese Pod, and studied flashcards until you’re eyes hurt. And yet when you open your mouth and (what you’re sure is) Chinese flows out, your words (or what you hoped were words) are met with giggles and guffaws.

We’ve all had this happen. Many of us who gamely keep trying to speak Chinese are still having it happen. I studied Chinese at a Beijing University for over two years and still can’t properly pronounce the school’s name, which immediately leads everyone to wonder what I was actually doing for those two long years.

There are quite a few reasons your Chinese may be provoking hilarity – the tonal aspect of Chinese and the inability of many foreigners to properly hear and say tones means any number of miscommunications may occur. We’ve all said the same thing twenty times, only to have the poor person we’re talking to all of a sudden go, “Oh! You mean (and then say exactly what you thought you just said 20 times).”

After having to have others order it for her a million times, a friend of mine finally thought she’d learned the word for Sprite (xuě bì). At a big dinner in a big busy restaurant she took a deep breath and shouted out to the nearest fuwuyuan, “shǎbī”, which is not something you usually say a) when children are around and b) unless you’re trying to start a fight.

Fortunately for my friend, and for all of us who hack away at the Chinese language Chinese people, although endlessly amused and bemused by foreigners attempts at Chinese, are almost always extremely patient and understanding.

It’s important to stay calm and remember that these problems cut both ways. I was once walking with my language partner while he dramatically quoted the Backstreet Boys in preparation for wooing his special lady friend.

“I’m happy when you’re happy”, he crooned, “I smell when you smell.”
What?! You smell when she smells,” I asked, was this some cultural custom not covered in the guide book?
“Yes,” confused, “I smell when she smells,” he replied.


Chinese Backstreet Boys lip-synchers the Back Dorm Boys

Finally I asked him to spell it and it turned out he was going for “smile”. He’s probably still wondering why I couldn’t puzzle out such obvious context clues, and why I wasn’t more familiar with one of America’s greatest bands.

 

 

 

Another issue is vocabulary. Textbooks tend to teach us overly formal language which strikes Chinese people as odd. If someone showed up and declared, “Top of the morning to you, kind sir,” in a complete earnestness, you would laugh too.

One phrase we’ve all studied and yet Chinese people rarely use is, “rènshi n? h?n gāoxìng” (认识你很高兴) – “It’s very nice to met you”. It’s a great phrase but, despite what your Chinese 101 teacher taught you, Chinese people rarely use it.

So what do you say when you meet someone? Wow ‘em with, “Jiǔyǎnɡ, jiǔyǎnɡ! Xìnɡ huì, xìnɡhuì!” (久仰,久仰!幸会,幸会!), which means, “It’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you.”

The repetition involved means you get double the meaning out of half the studying, which is always a good thing. After all you’ve still got several thousand characters to learn.

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