Editor’s note: this article was translated and edited from Wenxuecity.com. The article tells the tale of two highly successful yet single Chinese men in their thirties who work at Guangrong, a Wuhan tech company. Both have struggled to find a suitable woman to settle down with despite earning high salaries and owning their own apartments. So, who and what’s to blame for their bachelor status? China’s gender imbalance? Chinese women being too fussy? Or could it be that they themselves are to blame for their single status?

Guan Yue (alias) is, in the eyes of many, a successful man. He graduated with a master’s from the University of Edinburgh. He earns a 200,000 RMB yearly salary. He drives an Audi A4. He owns a 120 square meter apartment. However, after partaking in over 30 failed blind dates, this 36 year old, who works in IT for a prestigious company in Wuhan, is still frustrated that he can’t find the right person. In fact, Guan has never been in a serious relationship before. “Why can’t I find anyone who really interests me?” complains Guan.  

Previously, media reports claimed that there are over 100,000 successful male thirtysomethings who lived and worked in Wuhan’s Donghu Industrial Development Zone who were finding it difficult to find a partner. Li Fuwu, the chairman of the Management Committee for the Wuhan Donghu Industrial Development Zone, recently said, “There are quite a few single men with incredibly high credentials who have found it difficult to find love, though I doubt it’s as many as 100,000…However, there are quite a lot of people like Guan Yue, who have yet to shake off this tag.”

Guan Yue – a big kid?

There are about 400,000 people living in the Donghu Industrial Development Zone, as well as 40 Fortune 500 companies that employ talented personnel in the field of technology. The relationship issues of these talented individuals have also attracted widespread attention. Last year, the local trade unions organized a blind date event for single employees, which saw 30 success cases (with the pairs either continuing to stay in touch or forming relationships.) Despite this however, most of the single males say that they still struggle to find someone suitable for them.

Guan Yue loves to play World of Warcraft in his free time, and barely does any housework as his parents are often around to help out. He also never goes out to buy clothes or other such supplies, as he relies on Taobao for his shopping. Guan works hard and doesn’t mind doing the odd bit of overtime if he has to. At school, Guan was one of those guys who always got top marks in school, and after graduating from the University of Edinburgh with a dual master’s in biology and computer science, Guan worked in IT in Beijing for two years before working for Guangrong, his current company in Wuhan.       
　　
After he returned to Wuhan to work in 2006, Guan began participating in blind dates to try to find his perfect match. He doesn’t remember exactly how many dates he’d had (“at least 30,” he claims) and only kept in touch with three out of the four girls he met for short periods of time after the initial date, after which he lost interest and broke off contact. He states that he never directly refused anyone, in lieu with his “gentlemanly manner”, though has still yet to meet anyone that he’s really interested in.

“Every time I have a blind date, I’m always the first one to make the move and take them out for dinner. It’s just that after eating together, I don’t really want to see them again.” According to Guan Yue, the girls who he has met have failed to understand his needs. Many of the girls he meets are often friends of friends or family acquaintances, and despite knowing that they aren’t his type, he still goes forward with the dates so as not to hurt anyone’s feelings.

But how does he know these girls aren’t suitable for him before they even get to know each other? For Guan Yue, appearance is a huge part of it. Guan’s ideal woman is very different to what many Chinese men normally find attractive. “I like the girl next door type, and I also like them tall.” But what else is important to Guan? “Of course, personality is key, but to me it’s largely about first impressions. I’m often not impressed by their first impressions, so it’s even harder for me to motivate myself to really try and get to know them.” Regarding their job or education level, Guan doesn’t mind. “A college degree or above is fine.” It seems that apart from appearance, everything else is irrelevant to him. Now 36 years old, Guan feelings like there’s more waiting yet to come, “I’ve already waited all these years anyway, what’s a few more?”        

Du Chao – struggling to meet the needs of materialistic girls

Du Chao (alias), a gifted engineer who also works at Guangrong and belongs to the same class of highly successful careerists as Guan Yue, has also expressed his difficulty in finding the right match. Now 31, Du has an open personality and loves to get involved in as many social activities as he can. He earns a decent wage of around 130,000 RMB a year, and also owns an apartment; enabling him to live his life relatively burden free.   

Du said that despite him having an “appealing” status much like Guan, he has had trouble finding the right match. He’s had two relationships in the past, though broke them off for various reasons. Despite his job description, which suggesting he is a man of science and logic, Du claims that he is capable of spontaneous romantic acts. He once sat on a hard train seat for 20 hours to see one of his ex-girlfriends, and thought of various romantic and creative ways to propose to her. Now single for the past six years and more focused on finding the perfect match, Du has been active on social media, posting and following various people. However he has found that not many women have been trying to get in touch with him back.      

All about appearance?

In a similar fashion to Guan Yue, Du also stated that looks are important. “I don’t have such high standards regarding what they’re like, but I at least want them to be attractive. After all, if we’re talking about marriage, this is someone you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.” Du says that girls who have rejected him often give material-based reasons. “They’ll say things like ‘What is your parents’ financial situation like? Can they help me?’ or ‘Your house isn’t big enough’ or ‘You don’t earn enough.’” Du stated that he can’t stand such girls who put material possessions at the top of the list, and just wants to run away after meeting such women. “My economic situation certainly wouldn’t grant me ‘rich man’ status, as my parents are normal retirees who can’t really help me too much financially. Such material aspects would be all down to me. Girls these days however want more and more, and just expect you and your family to have it all.”   

Du doesn’t want his parents to help him find any partners from now on, as he says that they don’t understand what he wants. “I want to find a partner myself.” As long as she has her own job and a university education and the two get on well (and is pleasing to his eye, of course), he’ll be happy, Du says.
 

Source: Wenxue City
 

Related articles
All the Single Ladies! Why Does China’s “Leftover Women” Phenomenon Exist?
Increasing Divorce Rates: Is China Facing a Marriage Crisis?
Chinese Dating Survey: Household Finances, Undesirable Jobs and Platonic Friends  

Warning：The use of any news and articles published on eChinacities.com without written permission from eChinacities.com constitutes copyright infringement, and legal action can be taken.

Keywords: Chinese women Donghu Industrial Development Zone single Chinese men