Editor’s note: A recently published Chinese blog on popular Chinese portal site ifeng.com explores the subject of Sino-US coupling, in particular the type of man that marries a Chinese woman. The author, a female Chongqing-born US citizen currently residing in New York with a background in media and journalism, identifies six types of men that fit the profile. So, the question is: do you agree? Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comment section below. Let the great debate begin!
Beautiful Eastern women and Western men often fall madly in love. Together, they create beautiful mixed race families. This warm and happy scene can often be seen in the United States, a part of the landscape of the country of immigrants. Many bloggers have written about these kinds of families. All the Western men are American and many speak Chinese. Their wives are Chinese girls, many of whom have previously worked in China.
I am often asked: what kind of man can easily marry a Chinese American woman? This question is difficult to answer. Previously, it was thought that foreigners merely fawned over anything new and exotic. Times and conceptions however, are changing. For many Chinese women, money is not the number one reason for marrying an American man. The American dream of wealth can be achieved ways other than marriage. Marriages between Chinese and Americans occur naturally. Therefore, this question does not have a precise answer. However, there are certain types of American men who seem to be drawn to Chinese women.
1) Men Who Believe Fate Has Nothing to Do with Ethnicity:
In the US, many American men get married to ethnic Chinese women. These men often never planned to marry a Chinese woman, he just met someone he loved and she happened to be a Chinese women. It does not matter if she is Chinese or any other race because she is the woman that he fell in love with.
This is especially true for the younger generation: students or young colleagues. Young people often work or study with others from diverse backgrounds. It is natural for them to fall in love with someone from another culture.
The number of Chinese students and young Chinese immigrants to the United States is on the rise. With this, the number of transnational and cross-border marriages will also increase.
2) Divorced Middle-Aged American Men
In America, most women are independent and do not rely on their partners economically or psychologically. This marks a big difference between American women and Chinese women.
Some say that it is not easy for American men to get divorced because divorce is expensive. Alimony must be paid, property must be divided and more. This can hurt a man badly in terms of finances, especially in the current US economy. However, there are many divorced men in the United States, even though they usually need a good reason to get divorced.
Many divorced American men lose property and the custody of their children after a failed marriage. They are tired, both emotionally and financially.
They cannot stand strong women or feminists and feel that these women are “poisoned.” After their divorce they want a small “tame” woman. Chinese women stereotypically fit that bill. They often decide that they want a Chinese woman to be their new companion.
My friend knows a middle aged American man who earned 5000 USD a month when he married his now ex-wife. Later, he decided to change to a job that paid 3000 USD a month because he did not want to be tired all of the time. Immediately and unexpectedly, his wife filed for divorce. She said that she did not want to be married to someone who made 3000 USD a month; this was not the marriage that she pictured. The man was very depressed. He then found out that one of his new colleagues was married to a Chinese woman. She did not care about her husband’s low income. She makes him delicious Chinese food and her income is less than her husband’s. Sounds nice! The divorced middle-aged man eventually married a Chinese woman too.
3) Elderly Widowed American Men
In the United States, it is not easy for single men over 50 to find a desirable partner. Many single women over 50 are divorced and reluctant to get remarried. After the age of 50, people tend to be fixed in their beliefs and behavior. Many singles over 50 do not want to change themselves for a new partner or sacrifice aspects of their life. Women also generally receive alimony after a divorce and are therefore economically independent. They want to have fun and have a free and easy life. They do not want to be tied down. Therefore, many older single American men look for new wives abroad.
Most of these older American single men are former white-collar workers. Some have children, but their children are usually grown up and financially independent. The men get by on their pensions and social security. They have few bills, maybe just a loan for a house. Their lives are carefree and pressure-free and they just want to find a good partner.
4) American Men Who Have Worked or Traveled in China, Enjoy Chinese Culture
I met a young American man who had come to China at age 19. He lived in China for eight years. He can speak Chinese fluently. I chatted with him and found that he also could tell Chinese jokes, understand Chinese idioms and was knowledge about Chinese history. He could also sing a number of Chinese songs. While in China, he once owned a street stall, then became an English teacher and had a Chinese wife. The marriage ended in divorce but later found love again with another Chinese woman. He said that he knows he will spend his life with Chinese women.
Interestingly, I asked him if falling in love with a Chinese girl was different than falling in love with an American girl. He said he did not know the answer to this because he had never fallen in love with an American girl.
If you ask older American men who have been to China what they like about China, more than a third of them will say: Chinese food and beautiful Chinese women, Chinese girls with black hair, and so on. They will say that Chinese culture is profound and beautiful. It is not difficult for American men to fall in love with Chinese women.
5) Sinologists and China Scholars
Some American men need to master Chinese language and cultural traditions because of the nature of their profession. They often find a Chinese wife to help them achieve this goal. Many of these men marry Chinese women not only because of professional and practical purposes. Sinologists and China scholars have lived and worked in China studying Chinese culture and customs. Because of this, they have developed a deep emotional attachment to China and its culture.
6) American Men Who Like Minority Women
In the United States, there are some men who are not attracted to white women. They are tired of the idea of having a stereotypical family and want to marry a woman from a different culture. They see modern Chinese society as magical and complex and romanticize ancient Chinese culture. They see Chinese women as mysterious, fresh and new.
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Keywords: American man Chinese wife marry Chinese women
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Nov 07, 2016 01:19 Report Abuse
"how do i categorize mixed-race marriages in an insulting way? hey, since i invested so much mental energy into my rationalizations, i might as well make an article oit of it! behold my rigid and simplistic logic! if you married a chinese, you either get a kick out of control, or you do it for the access to her food/culture, or it's because you're studying chinese, or you just fancy ethnic women for the novelty. now you all know how mercenary you are!" - this broad will not tolerate her friends marrying Americans and being truly happy. the whole article is a convoluted way of belittling others while donning an expert's labcoat.
Jan 03, 2015 22:00 Report Abuse
Self-Serving, Arrogant, self-important, narcissistic ... Next up, why Western men (Americans) marry anybody at all. What kind of Western men marry Western women. Why Western men marry Middle Eastern women. Why women are chosen by men and don't play an active role. Why Chinese women are just so fantastically awesome and beautiful and smart and not shallow and cook well and are tame and have great culture and how Western men think Chinese women are more attractive than women of other Asian countries because they are Chinese.
Dec 15, 2014 22:48 Report Abuse
I can tell who marry Chinese women : only an stupid American man ! This should be added to the category ! Chinese be woman or man, has no love feeling ! All what count is money and your citizenship and they are great actors until you get cheated by them to marry them !
Dec 15, 2014 11:53 Report Abuse
1) I don't think this is a westerner, judging by the particular type of grammar mistakes... 2) It sounds like you're the angry one- you make angry, generalizing comments like this then say that white women are psychopathic? Why are you so upset？ 3）Either you're trolling to be unnecessarily hurtful, or you know that you're in the wrong, otherwise you wouldn't use an anonymous label. There's enough hatred and anger surrounding these issues as it is, why add to it?
Dec 17, 2014 11:06 Report Abuse
When I saw the title, I half expected it to be full of racist stereotypes. Rather it is a very politically correctly written article, maybe even a hint of pleasant feeling and truths. Personally, I find Chinese girls extremely attractive and if you find the right one, she will be a faithful partner to share life with. Of course, one should learn a bit about Chinese culture and also start with good communication early on in the relationship, so that when things don't always go well, everyone involved can handle without crossing a line. In the beginning, relationships all feel great. But when she has her monthly issue or if one person does something odd to the other person's upbringing standards, it can be cause for a problem.
Dec 10, 2014 14:59 Report Abuse
"She did not care about her husband’s low income. She makes him delicious Chinese food and her income is less than her husband’s. Sounds nice! The divorced middle-aged man eventually married a Chinese woman too." What?! Why does it sound nice that her income is less than her husband's? This just just reeks with insecurity the way it is worded...
Dec 09, 2014 01:31 Report Abuse