Double Loss: Dreams and Marriage Destroyed After Man “Sells Wife” into Surrogacy

Double Loss: Dreams and Marriage Destroyed After Man “Sells Wife” into Surrogacy
Aug 05, 2014 By eChinacities.com

Editor’s note: The following article, translated from wenxuecity.com, tells the nightmarish story of a man who thought he could fulfill his dream of buying a house by “selling” his wife as a surrogate. There are countless horror stories about surrogacies in China, from surrogates not receiving their payment to women being stuck with another person’s child. Although all manner of trade in fertilized eggs and embryos is prohibited in China, the surrogacy business is booming thanks to a legal grey area and a general lack of regulation and oversight. While more and more wealthy Chinese are now turning to the United States for surrogacy solutions, many people in the Mainland still choose to go down the uncertain and dangerous route of becoming or hiring a surrogate. This article then, presumably attempts to deter people from resorting to this by putting one more horror story out there in the world.

A young, married couple from Yongzhou dreamed of buying a house in Changsha, Hunan Province. But, with the knowledge that their salary would never be enough to make a first down-payment, hope came when the husband heard about surrogacies. He quickly convinced his wife to earn money to pay for the house by becoming a surrogate. He thought that once his wife gave birth and received the money she could return to his side. However, the child she gave birth to is already six months old and nothing worked out as he had planned…

Husband convinces wife to be a surrogate

Mr. Lu never expected that a surrogacy two years ago would end his three year marriage to Ms. Li. On the afternoon of April 9, Mr. Lu sat in his home still referring to Ms. Li as his wife, despite the fact that he was “forced” to divorce her 16 months ago.

“We had a great relationship,” said Mr. Lu. In March, 2009, he met Ms. Li while working in Guangzhou. At the time, the two were working at the same company. When they realized they came from the same hometown – Yongzhou in Hunan Province – they quickly hit it off and became a couple. By the end of November, after eight months of courting, the pair got their marriage documents.

After they were married, they headed south to Guangzhou again because of one dream: “to work hard in order to buy a house in their home province someday.” For this reason, they were in no rush to have kids.

“We worked in the same factory, went to work and got off work together. Even though we were under a lot of pressure, we had a great relationship.” As he recalls his love-filled work days, Mr. Lu breaks out a rare smile in his otherwise solemn face.

However, after three years of working the couple realized that their bankbook wasn’t getting any fuller; all they saw were rising property prices. “It was basically impossible to make a first down-payment on a house by solely relying on our work salary.”

Because of this, the couple began to experience some friction in their relationship. Mr. Lu, who couldn’t see a future, became very negative. But what he didn’t expect was that one random phone call would suddenly change his life forever.

A life-changing moment

On November 27, 2012 at around 8pm, Mr. Lu picked up a phone call. “At the beginning the relative wasn’t being articulate. He just asked a series of questions such as whether my wife was pregnant or not, if she was healthy and whether she’s ever had a check-up. I thought it was strange so I pressed him to clarify. It was only then that he clearly told me about a money-making opportunity: Ms. Li could become a surrogate for someone else.”

Make his wife carry someone else’s baby? That thought made him go silent. But as soon as he began to think about the “100,000 Yuan” award, Mr. Lu began to waver.

Later that night, when Mr. Lu delicately told his wife about it, Ms. Li lost her temper. “At the time she scolded me,” Mr. Lu recalls. “She kept stressing that no matter how poor you are, you shouldn’t use pregnancy as a means to earn money.”

But, thinking of that 100,000 Yuan award, Mr. Lu patiently continued to explain the process to her: “All it is it using modern technology to plant a fertilized egg in your body”.

One week later, in order to make the first-down payment, they finally reached a compromise.

Living with a familiar stranger

Accompanied by relatives, Mr. Lu and Ms. Li traveled to Changsha to meet their “employer”, Mr. Deng. According to Mr. Lu, it was an awkward meeting. 16 months have passed since that fateful meeting, but the memories of it are as fresh as ever.

They met in an upscale teahouse in Changsha where relatives introduced them to Mr. Deng, a boss at a real estate agent who only opted for surrogacy because his wife couldn’t conceive. Mr. Lu and his wife sat close together with their head down, sipping on tea and barely saying anything.  It was an awkward atmosphere, amplified further by the fact that Mr. Deng acted strangely when he realized that Mr. Lu and Ms. Li were a married couple.

“The pair have to divorce first before they can receive the compensation,”  said Mr. Deng. To this day, Mr. Lu can’t understand why. “When he said we have to divorce, I thought there was no way we could go on with the deal,” said Mr. Lu. Upon realizing this, Mr. Deng raised the price to 110,000 Yuan. Mr. Lu stayed quiet for a moment before saying, “Add another 10,000 Yuan” and then standing up abruptly and leaving. “This feeling of selling my wife was hard to bear.”

As Mr. Lu was about to walk out, Mr. Deng shouted after him: “150,000 Yuan, that’s as high as I can go. If you don’t want to accept I’ll find someone else.”

Then the unexpected happened. Ms. Li agreed saying, “In one year after I’ve given birth, everything will be fine again.” He still remembers those comforting words coming out of his wife’s mouth.

On December 25, 2012, Mr. Lu went to the the civil affairs office to file for divorce. A few days later, Mr. Lu went back to Guangzhou while his wife went to Changsha. Ms. Li successfully conceived after getting the implant procedure done at a local hospital there. For Mr. Lu, it was a worrying wait. But not long afterwards, he noticed that something wasn’t right: it became increasingly difficult  to get through to his wife.

Another strange thing happened on July 26, 2013. That afternoon, Mr. Lu received a text message from Ms. Li. It read: “The doctor has told me to not use a mobile as much prior to giving birth, as the radiation from the mobile could affect the fetus’s development. Please try not to call me.”

But feeling uneasy, Mr. Lu couldn’t resist. “One time, she picked up my call and gave me a big telling off.” Mr. Lu felt wronged by her behavior. At that time, he also heard a male voice in the background that left him dumbfounded: “I clearly heard a male voice saying ‘I’m not going to marry you’”.

Lost everything

As the delivery date drew closer, Mr. Lu became increasingly worried. One evening, he sent a text message to Ms. Li to see how she’s doing. But several hours past and there was no reply. Anxious, he called her numerous times in a row to no avail. His only option was to call Mr. Deng; to his horror, Mr. Deng claimed that the child had been born a week earlier.

With these words, Mr. Lu realized that he had lost everything: his wife, the money from the surrogacy and his dream to buy a home and lead a happy family life. 

 

Source: wenxuecity.com

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Keywords: surrogacy horror story surrogacies in China

10 Comments

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ranbeersingh

Now a days surrogacy is very familiar. In india some of women are turning to surrogate mothers that giving her womb for rent. Some of the women doing because of there poverty and some are doing as a business. But they are giving happiness to the intended parents or who are facing infertility problem they had a solution is surrogate mother. http://www.surrogacycenternepal.com

Aug 06, 2015 14:37 Report Abuse

rebeccalee93

Cleopatra, you did divorce :) Congrats ...why do you feel like shit??

Nov 28, 2014 07:39 Report Abuse

Cleopatra

Yes. In China men love their mommies, daddies and China. Women just love money. Foreign girls, never never never never marry a Chinese man! Been there, done that, divorced and still feel like shit.

Aug 11, 2014 17:35 Report Abuse

rebeccalee93

Cleopatra are you still on this forum? I hope things got better for you

Dec 06, 2021 09:57 Report Abuse

Guest510304

Chinese women are killers ! peoples without hearts and without any conscience ! I don't blame the man , as in Europe and US this procedure is also used in many couples, but there the single thing is not the same with China , is ... there no need they divorcing ! Once Mr. Li accepted the divorce, he should think why is need a divorce ??? It is so simple, because Chinese woman wanted the money only ! as all of them dream only money here in China ! Men get hurt and unloved and if they no have a house and a car, they can't marry ! This is China ! Shame for all Chinese women ! How can a mother who don't love her husband to give birth to a child and offer him/her love then ????? This is why in China LOVE DOES NOT EXIST ! Who was living in China for several years, can understand this . They copy many things in couple, on the street, etc. just to be the same as the rest of the world ! But in fact, they only copy all this things, they don't feel anything for each other ! I heard from my ex bf here something like this :" we can consider the wife as a important member of family, but not love...." Nice, right ?...... SHAME ! I was thinking many times here, why Chinese do not feel love , do not have any love feelings ?... Maybe their brain is different than the others and this can explain . The same as the brain of some mental ill peoples is different in a way , so there they was born with different thinking , maybe this nation has the "money disorder" !

Aug 10, 2014 14:48 Report Abuse

WCG

I bet it was planned by the woman and her relatives. She wanted a divorce and devised a plan. It was one big con. Mr. Deng being a part of it. Elaborate stories like this are actually pretty common in China. I've noticed that a Chinese person will spend a lot of time putting together this huge scam (often times clever) to get out of a rather petty, elementary problem. Too bad they don't use all that creativity to actually invent new shit. I also notice that they will spend a lot of time compiling lies and corruption, when often times it would be a hell of a lot cheaper just to do it the truthful and honest way. A Western person would rather just take the straight approach and go file for divorce, get on a plane and leave a "Dear John" letter behind. No, no. I bet this story is about a woman that wanted a divorce, talked to her relatives about it and came up with a clever way around directly telling her husband. Avoid confrontation, isn't that the Chinese way? Does anyone know if she was actually pregnant or had the child? Or, did she con her husband into believing she was pregnant? Why did she stay in Changsha? It makes me want to research it more. You can change the title of this article to, "WOMAN FAKES SURROGACY IN ORDER TO DIVORCE HER HUSBAND."

Aug 07, 2014 06:41 Report Abuse

Guest2669028

I don't think there was love in their marriage. However I still believe there should be clearer surrogacy rules or it should be completely banned.

Aug 05, 2014 17:30 Report Abuse

sorrel

I am somewhat dubious about the authenticity of this story other than to scare the gullible. However, given that in China everything has a price, and many people seem to treat people as a commodity with a price tag. I have been constantly saddened by local friends who imply that life has a schedule: married by a certain age, baby within X number of years etc. And if this doesn't happen then there is something terribly wrong with the person. There is no allowance for real-life factors such as MAYBE infertility is the result of location, diet, life-style, any number of things, similar to people in other countries. And then to see 'womb shopping' as a quick fix solution to the fact that MAYBE there is a fixable biological problem.

Aug 05, 2014 16:11 Report Abuse

rainiersales

This would make a good Hollywood movie, something like Indecent Proposal 2, China Style...

Aug 05, 2014 15:51 Report Abuse

Samsara

This guy perceives his wife as some sort of biological utility that he can exploit for money. And then we're supposed to feel sympathy for him because he didn't get paid. I'm glad the woman got the money, and I'm glad she found something better to do with her life.

Aug 05, 2014 14:57 Report Abuse