Your Stories: Funniest Conversations with Taxi Drivers in China

Your Stories: Funniest Conversations with Taxi Drivers in China
Dec 24, 2014 By eChinacities.com

Everyone has had that one unforgettable taxi driver experience, or potentially more if you’ve spent a lot of time living and traveling in China. We asked for your stories in the answers section, and have compiled the best ones. Enjoy! And if you have any other questions, or if you think you’ve got some knowledge or wisdom to share with others, don’t forget to visit our Answers page.

Your Stories: Funniest Conversations with Taxi Drivers in China
Photo: J B

1) DrMonkey:
I was in a small village in Sichuan, deep down in the mountains. Early in the morning, I found a mini-van bound to the village I wanted to reach. Other passengers included a huge hulk of a Tibetan gnawing on a full salted ham and a Tibetan woman in traditional costume sucking the nectar out of huge flowers. The driver was a one-eyed chubby guy with a magnificent mustache that would probably fit on Genghis Khan’s mouth. We crossed passes at incredible altitudes, surreal landscapes and nice villages.

Eventually, a road checkpoint manned by soldiers appeared at the horizon. The driver went suddenly off-road, driving like a maniac. Eventually, he stopped when we were out of view from the checkpoint, behind an old stone wall. When the dust cloud following the van settled down, the driver started the engine, and drove slowly. He drove through a dry bed river, stopped again next to an abandoned mud house. He drove again after, and we joined back the road. The checkpoint was now far behind us. The driver turned his face toward me, and with an hear-to-hear smile, his only eye bright like the sun, and pointed his finger in the direction of the checkpoint.

2) Hunana:
I took a taxi two months ago and the guy asked me all the normal questions: where are you from, what do you do, are you married etc? I told him I was single and, as a joke, told him he should introduce me to a guy. He immediately got really excited and told me that his cousin's son is single, very rich and owns his own pottery workshop. Then he called the guy and made me speak to him on the phone for the rest of the taxi ride, it was really awkward. 

Another time, I took a motorbike to the train station at a border town on my way to Laos. My two friends also took bikes, but when I got to the train station, only one of them was there. We waited for a while, and I was just beginning to freak out when she arrived, looking really angry. Apparently the man had taken a detour so he could drive past all his friends yelling that she was his girlfriend. He drove around for about fifteen minutes before finally actually heading to the train station. 

3) ScotsAlan:
I was in an illegal taxi, and as we were crossing a railway level crossing the driver explained to me that trains use the rails.

"Do you have trains in Britain?" he asked.

4) Coineineagh:
A lady who spoke decent English. She said she had seen me before; we live in the same housing complex. Then she mentions that she has a half-German son, and her German husband has become estranged. They met in Shanghai, had a whirlwind romance, then it ended when he left for home. Surprisingly tolerant of foreigners for a woman who has been used by one like that. I sensed nothing but kindness and curiosity from her, no resentment at all. It probably helps that I'm married and taking care of two kids of my own, not running for home.

I'd have to say my experience with taxi drivers are the most positive of any country, including my own. No scams, no price gouging or disrespect. Courteous and efficient, if a bit too dangerous speeding the streets in their rickety buckets. Consumer demands, I guess. They often pick up another passenger while you're still in the car, but who cares.

5) Sm90:
I think the best conversation I have ever had with a taxi driver was in Xining, when I was traveling there.

I had a driver who insisted that I was American, even though I told him that I wasn't, and then opened the windows and started shouting to everyone on the streets that he had Michael Jackson's daughter in his cab. Over and over and over. Then he started singing Michael Jackson, with the windows still down, while trying to hold the steering wheel and trying to do the crazy dance with the hands on the crotch thing at the same time. It was madness. I felt a little bit like I was famous, as we took some sidewalks and jerked the car around to some tunes. 

In the end, when I was getting out, he also told me I was prettier than Obama. What a compliment. And I didn't have to pay! Best conversation, ever.

6) Eorthisio:
One day I was tired of always answering the same questions like "where are you from?" and so on...

So I told the driver that I am the prince of Egypt, here in China with my 23 wives, 45 children, 57 cats and 100 servants, I am traveling across the country's farms on my camel to find the best goats to sacrifice for the God with a falcon head.

And he believed it; he started asking me various things about Egypt.

 

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Keywords: conversations with taxi drivers taxi drivers in China

3 Comments

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bill8899

The joy of taxis.

Dec 29, 2014 18:03 Report Abuse

MsCorr

Yeah, usually just the normal boring "Where are you from?" and a shocked "Wow, you guys have white people there?", just because I'm not from Russia or the US (which are according to many Chinese taxi drivers) the only white countries... :/

Dec 26, 2014 22:25 Report Abuse

Chairman_Cow

I've had many conversations with Chinese taxi drivers, although I can't remember any pleasant ones.

Dec 24, 2014 13:43 Report Abuse