I Can't Take You Anywhere: 6 Things Not To Do in China

I Can't Take You Anywhere: 6 Things Not To Do in China
Feb 21, 2012 By Tom Ackerman , eChinacities.com

If you are unfamiliar with China on your first visit here, or if you've lived here for ten years and just don't get out very often, you might not know how to behave around your eastern neighbours. China isn't as different as many people think, and foreigners do have a little leeway in their behaviour, but there are still a few things that can end up embarrassing, humiliating, unrewarding, unproductive or just plain damaging. For your perusal and edification, here are a few things not to do in China.


Photo: isforinsects

1) Get angry
China can be frustrating at times, but losing your temper with the shop owner or the customs official is not only bad form, but can lead to big problems. Despite the loss of much Chinese etiquette over the past century, many Chinese still respect discretion, manners and politeness. Though not as hyper-discreet as their Japanese neighbours, many people will respond to your anger with total non-cooperation. That's bad for you. Some will just get angry back. You could always counter-argue and say ‘Hey, Chinese lose their tempers too, so why should I care?’ but this argument hardly justifies screaming at the cabbie, nor does is do away with the obvious possible consequences. Besides, plenty of modern Chinese behaviour would leave Confucius rolling over in his grave.

2) Embarrass someone
China still respects honour, and honour is a public thing. It is best to be especially careful in China about embarrassing anyone or otherwise causing them to lose face. That includes disrespect, insult and criticism, among other things. If you need to communicate something negative in the most urgent and pressing way, it is better to do it in private. If you do it in front of others, it is humiliating.

3) Show it off
You have my sympathies if you think 100-degree heat and a humidity level nearing that of Jupiter is oppressive, but you'd definitely be put in a certain category if you trot through town baring your hulking chest. Not only do Chinese not seek out the tan like we do (most avoid it), but would look on such displays as either silly, or immodest, which in all fairness they are. Even in a village area, the only people I've seen shirtless on the street are a handful of labourers and a few toothless, card-playing old men drinking liquor. It's advisable to save the displays of upper-body for gruelling sports only, and when playing in the heat.

The same basic principle applies to women. Despite the 90-foot billboards of half-naked females to the contrary, most Chinese still respect the virtue of modesty, and would not look well on you dressing like Britney Spears. So unless you enjoy being ogled on the bus or approached by strange guys on the street, it's best to keep the clothes on. China is not a nudist colony.

4) Let your visa expire
Merely a few years ago, travel used to be easier in China for Westerners. These days they've decided to add more immigration rules. Slipping through the airport just a few days after the visa expires is not really going to happen. You will get fined for every day that you have overstayed, up to 500 RMB per day. That's real money. The obscenely-long overstays can even land you in immigration jail or banned from the country. I've read that some people manage to beg their way into grace periods, but I wouldn't count on it. Do not allow your visa to expire.

5) Get first and last names mixed up
Guys and gals – the family name goes first, the given name goes last. Try and get it right. It's not the biggest deal in the world, but some people do get sensitive if you mess with their names.

6) Know nothing about China
Chinese certainly don't expect you to be the experts, and often enjoy telling you about their country, but sounding like you know nothing about China really does sound like you don't care. Besides, why visit a country if you don't care about it? In my impression, Chinese seem quite pleased when I can tell them a few things about Chinese history or geography, or cuisine. So get excited about your visit and learn about where you're going. The current president of China, for starters, is Hu Jintao. The last one was Jiang....something-or-other.
 

Related Links
Making Travelling Part of the Adventure: Sleeper Buses in China
An Introduction to Planning Your Trip Around China
China Travel Necessities: Seven Forget-Me-Nots for China

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Keywords: culture tips China what not to do in China being rude China proper etiquette China

18 Comments

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Kilroy238

1 and 2 sounds, to me, more like rape victim mentality. Shut up and take it.

I guess that is why you NEVER see people on their knees on the street with documents and letters trying to shame/embarrass some person/organization/governmental agency to do the right thing.

Mar 07, 2012 18:41 Report Abuse

TheShizzle

With all due respect, and after have lived in China for the last three years and spending most of that with Chinese people, I find your article extremely under studied. I myself have found being a 6 foot 4 englishman fluent in Chinese, and giving them a "respectful" piece of my mind is often very effective. Each to their own though...

Mar 01, 2012 00:46 Report Abuse

dano

You practice a sniveling avoidance technique that reminds me of an Ostrich.

I doubt you would last long in stir.

Feb 24, 2012 07:34 Report Abuse

dano

I think you failed to read all I wrote.

I said I tried to give folks EVERY opportunity to prove me wrong- before I resort to escalated aggression- which you seem to abhor. It is a LAST resort, not a first resort.

your lack of reading and comprehension skills suggest you have the mental retardation you transfer on me.

Get a grip on reality and not fairy land.

Feb 24, 2012 20:45 Report Abuse

dano

and the sniveling continues...

Since your lack of comprehension and predetermined outcome pattern of thinking has guided you thus far, I can only surmise your are a product of a failed education construct-

You did NOT read all I wrote or else you would have tuned in that I said I do not seek hostility, I try to avoid it...nor did I call you names... your mama should have taught you better about that as well.

Middle School must have been tough on you, na na na boo boo.

Feb 25, 2012 06:02 Report Abuse

mike

....and have you noticed that this site has become so lazy that they have moved past recycling the same article onto recycling the same pictures....its either a foreigner in some traditional chinese clothing or a close up of someone with crazy hair screaming in frustration.....NEXT!

Feb 22, 2012 18:54 Report Abuse

Blade

I don't know where you live, but the women and guys in liaoning love to show off the goods.

Short shorts for the gals in the summertime (I don't complain) as well as all the guys doing the halfshirt over my stomach thing to try and stay cool. Ok, you got me, they don't take off their shirts, but does that really matter when I can see everything anyway?

Feb 22, 2012 07:52 Report Abuse

Gabriel

Keep the face is one thing i call be hypocrite in China. just fake attitude like many things in public in China! better to be straight that's all. it creates less problem than in Chinese way.

Feb 22, 2012 00:23 Report Abuse

tish

I'm not sure about different parts of China for men but there does seem to be differences depending on where you are regarding shirts on or off.

I would like to point out however, the female side of that statement. Chinese women are the biggest wh*res I have ever seen in summer time. When I first came to China, in fact, I asked if a few of them (in VERY short shorts and big black boots) were hookers. In fact, they were just average women.... When it comes to the upper part of the body, women should cover their shoulders in China or you will be looked at, however, stomach and legs(as much as you like) is completely normal in any part of China.

Feb 22, 2012 02:37 Report Abuse

tish

ok, fair enough. But asking about them being hookers.. I've not been the only or first... sorry in both regards

Feb 22, 2012 21:48 Report Abuse

dano

2 weeks ago I got a heater-

yesterday it doesn't work...TIC?

You betcha! Phony Quality Control...QC

To my Chinese friends:

If imitation is the best form of flattery , please please try imitating something that works!

Feb 21, 2012 21:37 Report Abuse

dano

and thus you have proven my point.

Feb 23, 2012 22:26 Report Abuse

mike

How many times is this site gonna publish the same article??? it seems like twice a week someone is writing about not making the chinese " lose face" or that getting angry is useless. Is there not an editor in the house???

Feb 21, 2012 17:43 Report Abuse

carlstar

I'm sure there is an editor but in true Chinese fashion they are probably getting paid to have lunch and dinner with VIPs and to take business trips.

Just to clear something up about the article. You are allowed to scream and shout if you are:
a) Government official
b) Own a car
c) Old or middle aged woman
d) An annoying 'I'm the most important and completely spoilt' kid
e) Just plain better than the person you are shouting at, probably because you own three apartments and enjoy running people over in your car

Feb 21, 2012 18:47 Report Abuse

dano

You're wrong about a few things-
You have every right to show displeasure and emotion.
Simply, try to be as courteous as possible.
Pretending everything is wonderful when it's not is stupid.
No one can be immune to embarrassing , not even the sacred Chinese
It is much better to lose face than integrity.
Everything cannot be sweetness and light when you deal with the garbage that is TIC..
But, it's most important to give praise when it's due.
Tell it like it is, but do it with love.

Feb 21, 2012 11:05 Report Abuse

dano

No, It does work.

And telling an idiot he is an idiot- (or as one time when i threatened a driver to beat his ass and leave him by the side of the road) actually works.

phony "bu zhi dao" does work on me.

I read body language quite well thank you...
And that same driver, from that day onward, because I stood up to him, he and I became good friends.

So it was VERY productive.

But, like some other readers said this is simply recycled garbage ... to keep protecting stupidity.

Feb 21, 2012 20:04 Report Abuse

dano

That would be his problem , not mine.

You see, The Army trained me well.

Feb 23, 2012 02:11 Report Abuse

dano

It improved my situation on the spot.
I try to give folks every chance to explain themselves...
But when they don't I keep a can of WA on the ready.
I don't give a good bowel movement about nice talk when nice talk does not get the job done.
This is hypocritical to let folks pul the BU ZHI DAO card when ever they feel like NOT doing something .

Either you are naive or worse to think that you don't need to take an aggressive posture from time. I don't think that you are naive , so that leaves a few other choices-
And worldly wise is not one of them

Feb 23, 2012 21:09 Report Abuse