For expats, living in China can be a blessing and a curse. Living in another culture is never easy, especially when it comes to a place like China where many cultural nuisances are completely alien, particularly to Western expats. It’s not easy to get used to queue rushing, the shouting in restaurants and a dogged insistence on harmony when you see anything but. Some have more positive experiences than others, and vise versa, but if you are honest with yourself, have you had those days where you sit in your apartment and wonder, “What the hell am I doing here?”

“Reaction is not about thoughts, it’s about action,” an ancient Rabbi, with dried bits of challah and sesame seeds in his beard, used to tell me in my youth. While I often question many aspects of my traditional Jewish upbringing, such wisdom is not one of them. After all, in the end it comes down to how you react to these feelings that determines just how they will affect your life. Some expats in China learn to adapt, some just eat their bitterness and others become as volatile as nitroglycerin. 

So if you are at that point of wondering if China is really for you, check out the list below. If you find yourself often nodding in agreement, it might be time for you to pack up your bags and leave.

1) You Start to Blame All Chinese for the Actions of a Few
A few years ago I had a friend that broke up with his Chinese girlfriend. It was true the girl was a bad apple but in his frustration my friend started to think of all Chinese women in the same light. “Backstabbers, leeches, bitches with nice bodies,” he repeated like a mantra. Yes, stereotyping and boiling the essence of a whole ethnic group into the reality of a personal experience might make understanding the world around you easier, but it rarely leads to positive results (believe me as a Jew I know). So if negativity is all you start seeing in those around you, then buy a ticket before you do any real damage.

2) The Composition of Your Liquid Intake Drastically Changes
They say you should drink eight cups of water a day and if you want to be lenient then milk, orange juice and even soda can do the trick. Sadly many expats in China choose to deal with their frustrations through the help of another liquid, alcohol. I’m not talking about having a beer after work or having fun on the weekends, I’m talking about people who choose to numb their problems with glass after glass of grandpa’s cough medicine. If you think Johnny Walker is the only one that understands you then it’s time to call it quits.

3) Your Job is Driving You Nuts
Some people love working in China and can make a killing here, others are not so lucky. In recent years there has been a steady flow of expats that have come to China to avoid the financial crisis back home. It might be an adventure and you might be able to earn some cold hard cash, but sometimes the fact that you only see a dead end ahead will drive you nuts.

I have a friend who came to China four years ago as an English teacher. For a while he loved it, but finally this year he came to the realization that his life as an English teacher offered him no real future. After all, he worked in a Chinese university where no matter how hard he tried he would never be able to climb the ladder solely due to the fact that he was not Chinese. It drove him nuts, so he decided to pack his bags.

4) A Cocoon of Self-Banishment
Yes, it is a phrase borrowed from the movie Up in the Air (a rather good movie by the way) but it does a good job of explaining how some expats react to China. In the movie the main character Ryan Bingham (George Clooney) can’t and doesn’t want to deal with the complexity of close relationships, so he shuts them out. In China some expats end up doing the same thing; they shut China out because they think it’s too much of a trouble to deal with. In bigger cities with a respectable foreign community this often means going “foreign only”. In smaller cities where they are just a few foreigners around this often means you troll expat websites and messages boards making comments about everything in the hope you might have a little foreign interaction. Whatever the case, you create a cocoon, of which you are going to have to come out sometime.

5) Things Get Physical
It’s true that cultural differences can sometimes cause even the most level headed people to lose their cool. But if you are constantly finding yourself venting your frustrations in such a physical way that you might hurt someone, then your number has been called.

I once knew a guy that got into a fist fight with some of his Chinese colleagues over the sanitary conditions of a bathroom. He thought that he was bigger, stronger and could get his way. But unless you are Mike Tyson there is no way you are going to be able to uppercut your way through all your problems in China. It’s better to bow out now before you get ganged up on and end up in a hospital. And I haven’t even mentioned how some people use physicality in other ways.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Like I said if reading the list above gives you a sense of déjà vu then it is time to take a bit of advice from good old John Denver and go leaving on a jet plane. You might hate to go, but it will end up being much better for you.
 

Related Links
Reverse Culture Shock: Is Home Really Where the Heart Is?
Foreigner Vs Chinese Tradition: Relationship Roles in a Chinese Family
Non-Teaching Jobs in China: The Perks and Drawbacks

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