Illogical or Tactical? Lies in Chinese Culture

Illogical or Tactical? Lies in Chinese Culture
Sep 15, 2011 By Mark Turner , eChinacities.com

Lying is probably the biggest bugbear for ex-pats in China. It's not to say that foreign people don't lie. Look at a newspaper, magazine, flip on the TV or just chat to a foreigner for a while: the odd mistruth will no doubt pop up in some manifestation and with just the most cursory of digging. From imaginary weapons of mass destruction in Iraqi factories, to lying on resumes or cheating on spouses; to saying that someone's rear does not look big in a certain little dress. Lies come in all sizes and tones – from whopping in size and black hole-deep-black in tone, to innocent, small and ‘white’. 

What bewilders foreigners about China is how lying seems to take on the appearance of the country’s national sport, rather like a kind of verbal ping-pong. A simple game of ping pong, however, can sometimes transform from resembling a friendly game in the park to becoming more like a mental running of the medieval gauntlet, barbs and swinging blades lying in wait to skewer them financially or emotionally.

Lies that lack logic

No lie is too big or small to be told. In fact, the minuscule lies are sometimes the most bewildering; as the reasons for their existence are often the most elusive.

It seems that in China 'truth' is a different kind of beast, bending the laws of an inter-subjective reality, sometimes making up completely new ones as it goes along. One such rule is the 'if I say that x is y enough times and with enough conviction, then x really is y' rule. 

I doubt there is any foreigner that has lived in China for an extended period that has not encountered an instance of this rule being brought into play. The effect is that they enter an argument knowing that they have seen sufficient evidence or that they recollect with enough clarity that they are able to vouch for a fact's complete truth; they're willing to swear on their mom's life or the bible – whatever they hold most dearly.

The dispute could be about something innocuous as the ownership of a hat, or as significant as tens of thousands of dollars in outstanding payments.

The upshot is that after seemingly aeons of steadfast, stony faced denial, spurious claims, non sequiturs, straw man arguments, ad hominems and headshaking from the other party, their previous convictions have been eroded to the point of being nonexistent, they give up and retreat, accepting this new contractual term, loss of money or change in a relationship’s power dynamic. They’re left feeling completely unsure of what they had before considered gospel.

This scenario is most fittingly summed up by popular internet message board quip '神马都是夫云’— literally 'all things are but clouds’, meaning that, in reality it is not actually possible to grasp anything concrete. Things slip through our fingers.

The bright side of lies

The original idea of this article was to write about when it is OK to lie. But really, personal scruples and matters of legality aside, it really is OK to lie in any given situation in China; in some circumstances it is even encouraged or seen as artful.

Sometimes lying is used to gain face or gain an advantage over someone. At other times it is used as a means for offering a wounded party a chance to recoup face, a thoughtful, kind and gentle flipside of the unpleasant face of lying in China which many detractors of contemporary Chinese culture often omit from their critiques. This kinder face of lying in China is much more subtle and commonly overlooked by people of other cultures because they are so tuned into the practice of being incensed at a perceived slight that they can completely fail to realize the benevolence of its intent.

One of the most common lies someone will come across in China is about relationships. It is not so much of a lie as a ‘bending’ of a truth or the use of Venn diagram like semantics to maintain a sense of mystery or gain an advantage. When quizzed about their relationship status, young Chinese people will say that they don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend or partner, sometimes disguising the reality by calling him/her a ‘friend’ .This happens both in Chinese language and English language conversations and is not restricted to interactions with foreigners. The truth is that the relationship game is fiercely competitive in China, everyone wanting to find the best possible match. So, of course, a few little lies are likely to be told whilst dating – stinking, huge, beastly, heart tearing ones too, probably. Be warned if you are looking for a serious relationship with a Chinese person.

Telling ‘pork pies’ (check a cockney rhyming slang dictionary) about personal matters is just one event in the track and field games of mistruths told in China. Much more costly – financially speaking – are lies in business. China is a notoriously difficult country to do business in, hence the phrase ‘shanghai-ed’. It is no surprise that the name of a Chinese port has been appropriated as another colloquialism for being screwed over. This does not bode well for businesses wanting to export from China. One complaint of such businesses is that products supplied by cost cutting Chinese manufacturers are not up to scratch or meeting the criteria agreed upon. In a message board thread about lying in China, one commenter on the shanghaist.com noted that failure to oversee and document the production processes of a factory is an open invitation for being supplied with subpar products. Manufacturers should just be expected to lie.

Undoubtedly, the best advice for people involved in business or work in China is to look at things from every imaginable angle and make sure that they make things as airtight as possible before committing to any kind of agreement. Loop holes and room for ‘interpretation’ in contract clauses are legion and standard issue in most contracts in the Middle Kingdom. As the same internet commenter suggests, it is best to ask a question repeatedly in several different phrasings so as to check for discrepancies in responses. Hidden fees, penalties and costs are common practices in any kind of interactions involving money; these are also often wheeled out under the most flimsy of premises.

The matter of whether lying is an integral facet of China’s thousand years of culture is unclear. What is clear, however, is that it is advisable to deal with it by taking virtually every piece of news – good or bad – with a pinch of salt, and countering outrageous lies with your own equally outrageous ones. Life is a game, as lying is a sport in China. Take up thy ping pong paddle, prepare for a few volleys and remember to smile no matter the results.  
 

Related links
When Face Meets Chivalry: Negating Cross-Cultural Communication Clashes
Cross Cultural Communication: Yes, No and Maybe
Not So Nice to Meet You – Things Chinese People Don’t Say

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Keywords: lying in China lies in Chinese culture good and bad sides of lying in China

2 Comments

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Alan

Yes, yes, yes they are such liars. It's a sport, a game but really a way to make money and that's what's China is all about for most Chinese.

btw I have a Chinese wife and she says about my daily spam text messages (which are trying to sell me something) - they are liars

These guys think ethics is a county in England

it's short term thinking, a quick buck and rabbit eat rabbit

there are some exceptions thank goodness

Sep 26, 2011 05:13 Report Abuse

Steve

Vivid example:

When a Chinese person opens their mouth - especially when they say something like "no problem", "of course", "that costs XXXXrmb", or "It will be done tomorrow".

Sep 15, 2011 22:29 Report Abuse