As is my wont, I like to chat with friends and acquaintances over cups of espresso and glasses of beer about the latest goings-on in our lives in China. This latest thread, occurring over several days and many libations, seemed to disconcertingly center on China’s growing car culture and expat mishaps therein.

Frozen Assets

Starting 2009 expats will have their China assets frozen and their passport confiscated should there be any question of responsibility in the event of a traffic fatality. “It’s really more aimed at the Asian expats that get piss-drunk after a night out at KTV then drive home,” a British drinking buddy noted. They can hit someone in an accident then be on the plane back to Japan or South Korea or even Taiwan within hours.”

“What about the Chinese?” I asked, glum at the idea of driving at all in China with my newly-won driver’s license. “Do they get their bank accounts frozen, too?”

“They’ve always had this law applied to them,” the Brit said. “In fact, whatever the size of the accident, the drivers are supposed to call the police.”

“Even with a small bump?”

“They’re supposed to call the police,” an Irishman with a large, ruddy face chimed in. “But just because they don’t most of the time, doesn’t mean they’re not supposed to.” Most Chinese incidents end up in shouting matches with several hundred RMB exchanging hands in the end.

Call the police? Tai mafan. Too much trouble. Especially if there’s a fast buck to be made.

Taxi Fanfare

“I’ve never heard that before,” a young Irishman with fair skin and perpetually cheerfully red cheeks said. “Just walk away?” He had lived in China less than a year.

“Aye,” said one of the old timers at the table, and took a drag from his cigarette. “If the taxi gets in an accident - especially if they’ve hit someone - just drop the fare on the front seat and walk away.”

“End of transaction,” I said with finality. “Problem is, Chinese taxi drivers have been known to hold the expat passenger responsible for the accident. The argument I’ve heard told goes, ‘if you hadn’t asked me to drive there, I wouldn’t have had this accident.’”

“That’s insane!” the young Irishman said.

“Well, when my daughter was in that taxi that had the accident the driver didn’t make her pay anything.” Nick (not his real name) has a twenty-year old daughter that visited him during the summer. The accident resulted in a nasty concussion that took her days to recover from.

“That’s because she’s not a Big White Guy,” I chided. “They know she doesn’t have any money.”

Nick continued, “I once wanted to get into a taxi. I pulled the door handle and it came off in me [sic] hand. When I got out of the taxi, at Tom’s Bar, the driver didn’t say anything. He followed me into the bar, though, and told me he wanted me to pay for the handle. I told him to piss off. The bar manager showed him the door.” 

Whoever says it’s not easy to get a handle on China?

New District Punch-up

I hadn’t seen Frank (not his real name) in some time. One of the reasons is he lives in Suzhou New District, on the west side of Suzhou; while I live in Suzhou Industrial Park, on the east side nearer Shanghai. The soft-spoken Brit had put on some weight, so I didn’t recognize him at first. More unusual, though, he had a black eye and his face around the mouth was scratched up. I just assumed he’d had a scooter accident.

Friends told me later that the week before Jim had wanted to drive out the gate of the compound in which he and his Chinese family lives. A sedan entering the gate from the wrong direction blocked the exit. After a fair amount of honking and swearing at the driver to back out, Frank got out of his SUV to talk to the driver. As Frank approached the car it was clear to him it was a company car: a Chinese manager - or perhaps even the owner himself - sat in the back seat. Jeff knocked on the window to address the driver. The driver rolled down the window, and punched Jeff in the face.

Frank is a short fellow, but stocky. He’s a brawler as well, known to have had his share of bar fights. He immediately hauled the Chinese driver out the window of the car, and slammed him onto the ground. According to my friends, he proceeded to - - beat the hell out of the driver.

Frank turned his attention to the company man in the back seat. The man apologized profusely for his driver’s behaviour. I get the impression the driver was in no condition to back his boss’es car out, so I’m assuming the boss did it himself.

In future I think the driver will be sure to wear his seat belt the next time he drives. Or at least to buckle up before he punches someone from the driver’s seat.

Zhejiang Jamboree

An American named Dave (not his real name) and his family were driving back from Yuyao (Zhejiang province) to their home in Suzhou. They had just attended the wedding of an American friend that had recently married a local girl. Dave took a wrong turn while looking for the exit onto the Hangzhou Bay Bridge. He found himself going down a one way road in the wrong direction.

He hadn’t gone down too far though, so began backing up the road to get back onto the correct side of the thoroughfare. Suddenly he felt a bump behind him, a light thump. He and another car that was also traveling in the wrong direction had collided.

Dave got out of the car to survey the damage, though he was confident it was slight. The Chinese driver also got out and began shouting at Dave. Dave checked the point of impact - there wasn’t even a scratch on the car. Before Dave knew what was happeneing, the Chinese driver ran away from the scene over a knoll.

Dave thought the fellow had gone to get the police, which was fine with him. He wasn’t, however, prepared for the Chinese driver returning with four other guys who were all shouting and gesticulating in Dave’s direction.

Now Dave is a very big guy. He figured he could take down the local mob, but also considered he had his Chinese wife, their two-year old daughter, and another couple in the van as well. The moment the Chinese driver arrived back at the scene with his homeboys Dave shoved 200 RMB into the man’s hand.

Without further hesitation Dave climbed into his car and drove over the median to get back onto the stretch of highway he was on before he made the turn into Hell.

So much for local hospitality.

http://www.silkrc.com/chinadialogs/ 

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Keywords: living in China